The Gift That Keeps On Giving

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I can’t go back, can I?

No. But if you could, would you really want to?

-The Matrix

The red pill really is the gift that keeps on giving. Knowledge of how the world really works is something I revere. I define it as an of understanding of the true nature of humanity—an observation from new context—and the application of that knowledge through game, or learned charisma. I’ve thought of five ways in which this knowledge has enriched my life.

Before I get into that, however, I would like to address my semi-sober Solstice satire post from Saturday. I wrote it in an effort to increase my traffic and to get a reaction out of people with a puerile yet forthright piece. I was successful in both counts. My traffic has never been better (20% of my all-time visit count has come the past three days), and the reactions amused me, though they could have been a bit more clever. Hear-hear to commenter cheesynougats, who lamented:

For one, I am disappointed. The quality of snark in the comments is just subpar. Someone certainly can do better, and this _50 Shades of Grey_ knock-off failure deserves better.

For the record, yes, the post was intended to be stupid and haphazardly written. And no, I’m not that depraved of a human being. It’s not a true story, nor is it based on a true story (though it’s still more realistic than some of the kitsch Hollywood passes of these days).

So anyway, thank you for indulging me in my 50 Shades knockoff–that goes doubly for the haters.

FIVE WAYS THE RED PILL HAS IMPROVED MY LIFE:

It allows me to truly “be myself” around women.

The most common argument against a man learning game is that by doing so, he isn’t “being himself.” That all the scripts, canned lines, and learned actions are somehow disingenuous or even manipulative. Wrong. Game is nothing less than the way a man presents himself to the world. We all practice game in some sense—from engaging in polite conversation with someone who repulses us to dressing up for an interview. There are times that “being ourselves” just doesn’t cut it. So don’t fault the man who, for whatever reason, has failed in his previous relationships and decides to make conscious changes to ensure he doesn’t repeat those mistakes. If it requires a canned line to approach a woman, when just “being himself” would lead him to say nothing, then by all means, he should use the canned line. Any time a man steps out of his comfort zone, whether in his beliefs or his actions, it means he is doing something contrary to his natural self. I consider myself a completely different person than I was five years ago—my beliefs, my behaviors, my perspectives have all changed considerably. In five more years, they may change even more. And that’s okay. A static life is a boring life.

It has improved friendships and work relationships.

Talking with friends about game and having them as a support system has been an immense help to my ability to attract women and live a fulfilling life. It’s been amazing to note how viewing the world with others through the lens of truth, rather than what we wish was the truth, can solidify bonds and increase the desire to help each other achieve competence in our social skills (and I include fellow bloggers in this). This knowledge has also helped me in my career. I am working where I want to work, on my terms, and a major reason I was able to secure the position was because of what I’ve learned about how to present myself to others. Again, it’s not about being fake; it’s about being confident in my abilities and sell myself in a way that shows that.

I don’t take myself so seriously anymore.

I would have never dreamed of publishing an idiotic post like “Story Time” a few years ago, but I did because it amused me. If people have an issue with it, then that’s their problem, not mine. If they liked it (or any of my other posts), then great; it’s my intention to provide entertainment and valuable insights into the blogosphere, but I don’t lose sleep if I fail. The same attitude goes toward my social relationships. I’ve learned that a man who doesn’t take himself too seriously can approach women and get blown out time and again and remain positive, because he’s in it for a better reason than just getting laid. I don’t interact with women socially simply to “score pussy,” I do it because I genuinely enjoy it. And if relationships develop or sex comes as a result, fantastic. I’m never in desperation mode—I’m just having fun with it—and women pick up on that.

I can no longer play the victim card as an excuse.

When I was younger, and I struggled a great deal with attracting women, the first thing that ran through my mind was, “I just don’t have any luck.” It was the woe-is-me approach, and it only made things worse. Blaming outside forces for one’s own misery will do nothing but cause a negative feedback loop that will ultimately cause even more misery. The victim card is dangerous because it allows us to transfer our faults from ourselves to others. When that occurs, personal responsibility goes out the window. The idea of improving one’s self is a mere afterthought. It’s one of the reasons why feminism is a destructive ideology. Everything is based on getting society to improve rather than the individual. Meanwhile, the individual becomes an insufferable lump of stagnation. Neil Strauss, author of The Game, has long advocated the pick-up principle that no women are bitches. Now, that doesn’t really mean there are no bitches; the fields are plentiful and the harvest is ripe with them. What it does mean is that if we view pick-up opportunities from the mindset that no women are bitches, then our rejections are met with self-reflection (and ultimately, self-improvement), not blame or malice towards external foes. You can probably guess which philosophy works better.

It gives me the hope that true love does exist.

Wow, the tone of this article is awfully sanguine (not common in the Manosphere, I must say). Maybe I’m just in the Christmas spirit. Now, to clear things up, by “true love,” I mean true love, as opposed to false, manufactured, or settled-for love. Being socially adept and possessing an understanding of the female nature is exactly what women want from their men, and anything less than this will cause doubt in their love for them. So much of the “love” beta males receive in today’s society is based on rationalization (“this is the guy my mom always wanted me to marry, he must be right for me”) and the drop of standards (“well, we’re both 39 and have never been in a long-term relationship—if we don’t get married, we’ll end up alone”). Their women don’t truly love them. Now, I don’t claim to be an expert on what love really is. Whether it’s intense neuron activity or something more spiritual, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that it exists. As Heartiste boldly declared, “Love is the only thing in this world that isn’t bullshit.” But for it to be true, it must be founded on truth. By knowing the truth, and acting on it, men will indeed find more love in their lives. That’s why women’s love for the alpha male has never been stronger.

Merry Christmas to you all. Hope it is filled with joy and merriment! (That goes doubly for the haters.)

Hot-Santa-Girls-20

Be Different

 

I love this video. Linked from a Return of Kings article, it demonstrates two things. One of them, as discussed in the majority of comments below the article, is the observation of how different society was in 1987 compared to today. As illustrated here, people, not distracted by their smartphones and iPods, were friendlier (even the French). They didn’t mind being videotaped or interrogated by strangers. Approaching was easier. It was a carefree time.

But what do I know? I was two years old in 1987. This is a single glance at a single place featuring people high on the Small World fumes of Walt Disney World. In reality, 1987 was a turbulent time, and violent crime was nearing its apex, more than double what it is today. That’s why I try to avoid blind romanticism of the past. Some things are better, some things are worse. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter.

Why? Because of the other thing the video demonstrates, something that transcends the generations. Being different can be used to your advantage.

What normal person would go to 7-Eleven in the middle of the night and do videotaped interviews with every random person who walks into the store? Add in some clever banter, and you’ve got a recipe for social success.

Nothing particularly newsworthy happens during the video. But, in its own silly and insignificant way, it gives a glimpse of what men can do with some balls and a cultivated, unapologetic sense of humor. It is this attitude that women love. A few snippets:

“Oh it’s not on, don’t worry about it…can you sign this form?”

“You pay 10 cents to have less. It’s Weight Watchers.”

“Why’d you come here?” “Just to buy toothpaste.” “Juice bars?”

“You’ve come all the way from France to buy toothpaste?”

“Do you think we could get that mirror surgically removed from your chin?”

“Do they have 7-Elevens in France?” “No, we don’t have 7-Eleven, we have some other–” “We have Seveen Eleveen.”

No one of these comments is going to get a women into bed, but finding a way to develop a pattern of breaking out from the boredom of the world and giving people the chance to see your real personality is an absolutely essential component to being socially competent, and therefore, attractive.

So, those who have taken the red pill and know how to be different, go out there and be different. And in today’s world, that might mean nothing more than just talking to a girl. Add in a little game and it’s game over, man!

What Do You Desire?

 

From a lecture given by British philosopher Alan Watts, this 3:00 clip encompasses the Crimson life philosophy: “When we finally got down to something, which the individual says he really wants to do, I will say to him, you do that and forget the money, because, if you say that getting the money is the most important thing, you will spend your life completely wasting your time. You’ll be doing things you don’t like doing in order to go on living, that is to go on doing things you don’t like doing, which is stupid. Better to have a short life that is full of what you like doing than a long life spent in a miserable way.”

The funny thing is, these anti-platitudes fit within the bounds of any overarching belief system or life philosophy. The religious, the atheist. The here-and-now, the eschatalogical. The altruistic, the objectivist. Follow what you desire, within reason of course, and don’t hold back. Money should never be used as the ends but merely as a means; otherwise, the cycle of “all retch and no vomit” will continue in perpetuum. Don’t let the goal of “acquisition” consume you; it will die with you.

Tomorrow The Sun Will Rise

“And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?” -Chuck Noland, Cast Away

—-

We all have those nights.

I was tired. I was inside my head. I had a few too many drinks. My game sucked. And I wanted out. Not just of the venue, but of the game entirely.

I was sick of women. Sick of the hoops, the entitled attitude, the flaking. And yes, I was blaming them. They were the reason I was striking out. It was their fault. I was the victim.

—-

[the sun rises]

What a counterproductive mindset that is. The victim mentality is the most cankerous psychological struggle we face when trying to improve our social interactions. It provides a tidy little excuse why we shouldn’t improve, or worse, why we can’t improve. Once we convince ourselves that something is beyond our control, it is. The victim card is the subterfuge for a weak will.

I believe the antidote is hope.

I have a different view on hope than some of my fellow bloggers, who tend to criticize the concept. Hope is what drives me. Not the phony hope of a fantasy world so many of us have constructed. But hope grounded in truth, like that tomorrow the sun will rise. Or that I am capable of attracting the girls I desire.

Keep breathing, gentlemen.

Fear And Control

The strange thing about fear is that by giving into it, we are manufacturing a world in which the insignificant apprehensions we choose not to confront at the time are gradually manifested in completeness later on. In other words, by not going after something we want but are afraid of, we are helping create the life we feared from the start.

Let me provide an example, a common one: the fear of approaching women. If I puss out in my quest to talk to an attractive girl I see somewhere, I am decreasing the odds of achieving the happiness and companionship I truly desire. Fear’s funny that way; it makes us think we’re taking the easy way out (hey, I didn’t have to approach a stranger and display my value to her, did I?) but in reality, a lifetime of such indecisive accumulation will manifest itself into what we fear most, from a social perspective at least– being alone.

That’s what it comes down to. Do you have a fear of approaching girls? Of course you do. As Mystery is known to point out, even the most successful PUAs still fear the approach. It’s hard-wired into all men. But odds are you also fear, in a greater degree, turning into an old man who let his life pass him by. Becoming a man who’s lived a life of involuntary celibacy. Dying a man who has never been loved.

As uncomfortable as approaches can be, they are necessary for any man not blinded by his own sorry subjectivity, a paradigm of limitation which is almost always based in some permutation of the “it’s beyond my control” philosophy.

I had a decision to make a couple years back when I learned of game and the lifestyle it espoused– I could either come to grips with the fact that my problems with women could be fixed, or I could reject it and wallow in the path of fear, self-pity, and dulcet lies. Once I realized the only thing I was victim to was my own ignorance and inexperience, I could take the crucial step in building the life that I want, not the one that I fear.

Fear can only be confronted when we decide to take control. The worst thing about the feminist-entitlement-socialist-big-government world we live in isn’t the loss of freedom per se. It is the loss of personal accountability and responsibility. The loss of freedom is an effect of this mindset, not the cause. And lives constructed in fear abound.

10 Beliefs That Must Be Shed To Be Successful At Game

1. Women are more moral and upstanding than men.

Once it is realized that women are attracted to the exact opposite of what we would expect good little angels to be attracted to, we can mentally begin the Damsel Depedestalization process. Logically speaking, having a multitude of flings and girlfriends, admitting to a dark past, or displaying a consistent narcissism shouldn’t be attractive. Yet, the majority of women get tingles in the naughty place for men who fit that description. This is the beta’s fundamental philosophical shortcoming– he does not understand that the female attraction process is not based on logic. It is based in the world of emotion. One vertiginous, drama-plagued (not to mention orgasm-inducing) relationship with an alpha male will excite the typical girl a hundred times more than all of their prosaic, forgettable experiences with fulsome betas combined. At the end of the day, this perverse enchantment with the dark side of humanity is what stands in the way of them from being the selfless and dutifully moral creatures we as ignorant boys believed they were.

2. The ideals of feminism are compatible with the reality of human nature.

There is no doubt remaining that girls are attracted to men of a higher status than themselves. It was just as true in 1951 as it is in 2011. Human nature doesn’t change overnight, not even with the specious groupthink myth of feminism being shoved down our throats for the past half-century. I’m not going to say that female equality didn’t lead to some good things (personally I find the 50s housewife persona a bit boring), but it came at a price. Women saw their statuses rise, which meant, relative to them, men’s statuses dropped. The percentage of satisfactory male suitors has dropped remarkably, meaning more cads and ne’er-do-wells succeeding, and more niceguy providers getting cuckolded, paying lifetime alimony, and getting put into friend zone after friend zone. Since the sexual market is a zero sum game (as the sagacious Roissy pointed out), the continuing progression of females up the status ladder can only mean the continuing regression of males down it. The equality of the dating market has never been more skewed.

3. There is only one girl in the world who is right for you.

Oneitis is a debilitating disease that prevents men from reaching their full potential. A man who has options is a man who can attain the gratifying entelechy mastered game has to offer him. Once a man allows himself to look at other girls again, he will see there is beauty all around him, that there are things other girls can offer him that the girl he’s drooling over never could. But he must believe that he has the charisma to find someone new, because oneitis is, in a way, just another form of self-doubt. If he exorcises this demon, he will eventually embrace the love of variety that is instilled in every man. While he shouldn’t suddenly become opposed to LTRs as long as they’re still fulfilling (a big if, especially beyond the 2-year point), he should never feel compelled to be in a relationship he doesn’t want to be in. Never take the option of walking out off the table. Ever.

4. Game is, above all, about what you say.

Sometimes teachers within the PUA community are too concerned with teaching men what to say, and don’t focus enough time on teaching them how to say it. While I have no qualms with canned openers and DHV gambits, they are ineffective without the concomitant confidence to deliver them. Alpha body language, appropriate vocal tonality and tempo, and proper eye contact will be as helpful to an aspiring PUA as a catchy (but ultimately unimportant) opener. There is no need to split the community into the two camps of inner and outer game. Both are essential for activating the attraction mechanism in a girl’s brain.

5. It is the man’s job to impress/entertain the woman.

When asked what the one truth of game was, Roissy epigrammatically answered, “Impress me.” Although men certainly have to put effort into a pickup, game is completely structured on the underlying principle that it is the option-rich man, who, through qualifying, disqualifying, and negging, is in control of choosing his mate in the sexual market, not the other way around. It is the alpha male who believes he is the prize to be won, not Princess Pedestalia and her inscrutable whimsy (hopefully leading her to select him!). It is indeed true that a man determines within seconds if a girl is someone he would like to screw; however he must approach her from a strong screening frame. He must give the impression that he’d gladly walk and move on to the next contestant if she doesn’t meet his standards. This attitude is attractive to girls.

6. Girls don’t want to be offended.

The most common mistake betas make is that they place the fear of girls’ reactions above their own desires. Because girls desire a man of higher status, they view the unctuous onslaught of constant accommodation as a sign of weakness. Why? When a guy placates a girl by never challenging her, her finely-tuned social sense tells her that he has no other options. And no options = low status. She is the one thing standing between him and celibacy. That is why he must flip the script and show that isn’t the case– by being a challenge, being unpredictable, being an offender even. Of course, the best way to “offend” girls is to do it with subtlety. That’s why a neg (defined in its original context) works so well. It knocks her down a few notches without being brazen or reaction-seeking (both of which defeat the very purpose of negging her and will cause her to think she’s your only option).

7. A girl will respect you for not making a move on her. There will always be another chance to do so.

As the more capricious gender, females can never be counted on for “next time,” especially when it comes to love. Not only will they lose respect for you for the “respect” (a faux veneration that is in fact repulsive to most girls’ ids) you show them by not overtly sexualizing them, they will make it seem like you did the right thing– with a reward into the anhedonic friend zone. Don’t take the bait. Whether you’re going for a same-night screw or waiting three dates, make sure you escalate. The common game techniques of DHVing, disqualification, and preselection are all key to building attraction, but escalation is the key to maintaining attraction. Always be moving toward your ultimate goal– sex, love, fulfillment… something– but do it in a way that doesn’t show desperation (i.e., pulling away from her first after kissing). This is a sign of a man who knows what he’s doing, and nothing turns a girl on more than that.

8. Following the logical route and giving into your girl’s every demand will strengthen your relationship.

This is also all about status. A strong relationship is not one in which there is a perfect harmony between the two partners (and if someone says there is, ask them when the last time they had sex was), it’s when the man asserts a stoic dominance over his girlfriend/wife. Many PUAs make the mistake of believing that displaying such dominance is only useful in the pickup and early stages of a relationship, and is useless or even deleterious in a LTR. Not so. Girls don’t fall for a cocky badboy the first night and suddenly get wet for a doting dishwasher six months in. If you maintain the same frame throughout the entire courtship, you will always have hand in the relationship (assuming you did it right in the first place). The second you crumble, it’s game over. Be strong and your girl (if she’s not a slut) will be loyal, even if feigning dissatisfaction with you.

9. You can reason your way into being loved by her again.

“Attraction is not a choice,” wrote David DeAngelo. This is something I’ve learned the hard way. Once the attraction (or love) is gone, little can be done to salvage it. The only hope is a freeze-out (she needs to be out of your life for a considerable amount of time) and the eventual reintroduction of you as a new man (preferably with a new lady on each arm). Needy love letters and law school arguments presenting the case of why you should be together will only seal your betafate. Just as a girl who recently gave you her number will make time to attend a first date with you if your game was tight enough (and not because you persistently called and texted her until she cracked), a girl who is still attracted to you will be with you on her own accord. If she’s not feeling it anymore, don’t go batshit crazy asking yourself what she’s thinking. Ask yourself what you did wrong. And refine your game for your next girl.

10. There is a God who will eternally damn you for your caddish actions.

I’m not one to bash on religion or those who believe in God. The question of whether God exists is one that has haunted my brain since I was very young. I’ve gone back and forth on this question my entire life. Church is far from an unfamiliar place. But I maintain that, whatever your beliefs on the subject, there is no God who will send you to an eternity of damnation for going after what you want. Following a dogmatic view of an angry, unknown God produces nothing more than tension, confusion, and discordance in one’s life. The guilt that comes with the “sin” of embracing what every human feels so naturally is a poisonous thing, one that leads to heart-wrenching regrets of what could have been. Don’t let guilt consume you. It doesn’t have your best interest at heart. Only you do.

A Treatise On Game

The world of the PUAs was made known to me relatively recently, but to be honest, the things I have learned (both through reading and in the field) have been no less than life-changing. The way I view approaching strangers, attraction, relationships, sex, and the nature of females has undergone a complete and fundamental change over the past year.

For those of you unaware of the concept of game, I think it is best defined as male charisma- that curious ability to pick up attractive women based off personality, possessed by some and forever elusive to others (or so we think). The modern PUA community, pioneered by Mystery (Erik Von Markovik) and a handful of other socially adroit men, has roots tracing back to the mid 1990s. It became popularized over the next decade with the release of Neil Strauss’s The Game and Mystery’s TV Show “The Pickup Artist” on VH1. The idea of game revolves around the theory that women’s behavior can be generalized and predicted in a rather concrete and even algorithmic (e.g., the Mystery Method) way.

On the surface, game can appear to be dubious debauchery, and I wouldn’t blame someone who was apprehensive of its admonitions. But it works. I’ve observed it. The results speak for themselves. There is no denying that the application of its principles can transform previously inept men (known in the community as AFCs- average frustrated chumps, or betas) into men who can actually obtain the women they desire. (These men have become PUAs, or alphas.)

There are many brash chimeras about game, which are always at the root of the skepticism. To clearly define what game IS, let me expound upon a few misconceptions regarding what game is NOT:

-Seducing bar skanks

Probably the most common allegation against game is that it is only useful for guys who want to pick up self-loathing barflies looking for a one-night stand. Not the case. While it certainly can be used for such purposes, game is not at all centered on success within this narrow milieu. It works on all girls. Now that doesn’t mean an individual’s success rate is going to be 100% (there are too many extenuating circumstances), but it does mean that an individual is going to have noticeably more success than before he knew game. And its principles are not bound to the bar; it can work at school, church, the market, the park. During the day. At night. Anytime. Anywhere.

-Advancing the belief that men are superior to women

Game does nothing of the sort; it simply acknowledges that men are different from women. What attracts a woman is not the same as what attracts a man. What a woman looks for in a mate is not the same as what a man looks for. There are biological differences between the genders, and no matter what hard-core feminists spew to the contrary, that is the truth.

-Tricking women into attraction

Some people think that “running game” on a girl is sleight-of-hand tomfoolery. With its canned openers and systematic methods for each stage, it sure can appear that way. But when all is said and done, no woman who ends up with a man did so because she fell helplessly into some web of deceit. Ultimately, it is her choice (as it is the man’s choice to approach her) to pursue whatever intimacy ensues. If she does, it is because she is attracted to him, not because she was bamboozled. And also, while canned openers and other tactics can seem cheesy, they are necessary to learn for any student learning game. Better to open your mouth and have something interesting to say than to say nothing at all (what 90% of guys end up doing anyway). And with practice, the more puerile aspects of game fade away and the man is transformed into someone who can attract women naturally. A true alpha male is in control of his surroundings; his social interactions, while structured around certain principles, are the opposite of being robotic. The difference with the people who learn it and people who scoff at it is that the former believe that a man can become an alpha; the latter almost always believe such a change is unachievable.

To be supremely concise on what game is all about, I’d select the following five things:

-Being confident.

-Having options and avoiding the stench of neediness.

-Being able to step out of your comfort zone.

-Being disinterested (not uninterested, mind you) in the outcome of any given interaction or relationship.

-Refraining from putting women on pedestals.

I believe that properly learning and applying game can improve the life of any man. Trust me, I’ve had my problems attracting girls over the years, and while I’m still far from what I want to be, I’ve already begun to see a drastic difference in my life. I’m convinced that game can save lives, in more ways than one. I know what it’s like to be subject to that abject loneliness of rejection and being put in the ever-dreaded friend zone. And I also know what it’s like to be sure of myself and confident that I can attract a woman who meets my standards. I most definitely prefer living in the latter state.