16 Ways I Blue-Pilled My Marriage

A rather popular blogger, who goes by the handle Single Dad Laughing, published a post titled “16 Ways I Blew My Marriage.” There’s a follow-up lamentation that increases the total of ways to 31, each of which containing a detailed blurb about what he did wrong and what he would do with a second (actually third–he’s been divorced twice) chance.

If Heartiste’s 16 Commandments of Poon is the hardest-to-swallow red pill, “16 Ways I Blew My Marriage” is definitely its blue pill antithesis. One of them at least. 😎

A list comprised mostly of pointless platitudes and cookie cutter counsel, the only fortunate thing about “16 Ways” was that it was advice meant for his sister. Any self-respecting man who takes this advice (in whole–there are a few decent points) is only sealing his bitter, alimony-paying future.

31 ways to fix a marriage seems cumbersome, not to mention beta. Leave it to the bereft mind of the AFC to believe that treating female attraction and love like a checklist of logical do’s and don’ts based off what women say they want is the path to success. That’s why the 16 Commandments are so powerful; they are based in what women really want, not what they claim or what men think they should want. They aren’t logical; that’s exactly why they work. The cliche “if I do something to please her she’ll love me and if I do something to anger her she’ll hate me” mindset is relationship cyanide.

I will not cover all the ways here–many are inconsequential to the tingle. The points I do mention, however, contain a wealth of feminist approved marriage counseling. I will copy them over in their original form–I felt it was fitting that they were done in blue. So without further ado Single Dad Laughing (henceforth dubbed SDL) and the ways he blue-pilled his marriage:

1 Don't Stop Holding Her Hand

You’ll quickly observe that not all of SDL’s admonitions are 180° away from the truth. This is one of those instances. Kino=good. Even the herbiest of the betas knows this deep down. But the problem isn’t that he didn’t hold her hand; it’s that once the love was gone, she didn’t want him to hold her hand. It wouldn’t have mattered. In fact, it probably would have produced a subconscious pelvis reaction in her revealing her deep-seated disdain for him.

2 Don't Stop Trying To Be Attractive

SDL is correct in this realization; he is incorrect in its implementation. Thinking like a man, he assumes his attractiveness is completely composed of his looks and grooming, when in fact those things are just the icing on the cake of a man’s suite of traits necessary for making women swoon. And sadly, appearance is not even in the top three.

6 Don't Call Names

Read carefully. Only one person in the marriage was actually calling the other names, and it wasn’t our betadaddy. Yet he seems to take full responsibility for it. Oh, the mind tricks men will succumb to…

7 Don't Be Stingy With Your Money

Sure, there’s no need to be a miser. But the “buy whatever you want, whenever you feel you need it, sweetie-poo” policy will simply get her into a habit of  spending your money that won’t slow down until long after the divorce.

9 Don't Encourage Each Other To Skip Working Out

Sometimes betas get so close to the truth it scares them. He’s absolutely correct. “I don’t care if you let yourself go” is hamster talk. It isn’t reality. As much as they try to convince themselves otherwise, men don’t want to be in a relationship with a fat-ass. They can tell themselves all day they love their Pillsbury Dough Wife, but they know deep down something is wrong. Love without attraction isn’t real love.

As for his do-over wish, you must be the change you want in your world. As nice as feminine support and encouragement can be, a real man would stay healthy on his own, and realize that if his wife didn’t respect him enough to reciprocate, he would have the prerogative to look elsewhere for real love.

11 Don't Stop Kissing Her

See #1. He can wish to Kingdom Come that he’d have kissed “any time she secretly wanted a kiss” but it wouldn’t have mattered once her ice curtains closed on him. Like many on this list, this one is trying to treat a symptom, not a cause. The only way to salvage a marriage like this is to show up with the lipstick of another woman on his collar.

12 Don't Stop Having Fun Together

This one is actually on the mark. But I can’t help but think, after reading so much from the haters over the years, that this sounds like a “tactic” being advocated by someone not “being himself.” I mean, our ex-husband friend had no reason to impress his wife anymore, and vice versa. The reason they stopped having fun together was because they didn’t want to have fun together. They’d settled. The charade was over.

13 Don't Pressure Each Other

Values differences might make for good flings or short-term relationships, but you’re asking for trouble in a marriage. A woman who doesn’t feel at all subject to your values is a woman who can rationalize doing anything to you.

16 Don't Emotionally Distance Yourself After A Fight

Sounds like advice a modern marriage counselor would give. Such people tend to be reality-deniers who believe the way to the road to cultivating a successful relationship is done one way–by “communicating emotions and feelings,” as our author suggests. Simply put, this is bad advice. At best, it is incomplete. Just look at the guy who eats it right up. He never took the opportunity to take advantage of fights with sex. And he’s never realized that the passion that makes up “make-up sex” so storied isn’t because of the making up, it’s because of the fight itself.

17 Don't Stop Bringing Her Flowers

Gift-giving is a fool’s errand. There are certain times in a relationship in which it can be effective; on the whole, it does only harm once the attraction is gone. Remember one of Roissy’s maxims:

Maxim #87: The more expensive or thoughtful the gift you give a girl, the greater the risk that she will subconsciously begin to think she is too good for you.

Corollary to Maxim #87: If you are dating out of your league, or you are dating a young hot babe in her prime, you should do the exact opposite of what everyone will tell you to do — *don’t* buy her expensive gifts. Be particularly wary of advice from women. No woman in the world is capable of thinking clearly or impartially on the matter of “acceptable” levels of male provisioning. Even old, fat hausfrau hogs will expect mountains of jewels in offerings from men.

20 Don't Be Passive Aggressive With Her

“Um, Sweetums, please point out when I’m being passive aggressive so that I can rephrase things in a productive way,” said no alpha ever.

22 Don't Touch Her Only When You Want Sex

Not bad advice, but again, it’s nothing that will save a marriage on the rocks. How about instead you go out to a club one night, call her suspiciously (making sure she can hear other girls around), come home late, and then bang her up against a wall when you get home…

27 Don't Think You're Smarter Than She Is

“Over-bloated confidence” is the heart of game, my friend. No need to be a know-it-all. There are ways to show dominance over your woman without you coming off as a sniveling shit. A truly confident man will feel no need to prove himself right or get a reaction out of her; he and his woman will simply know that he leads. He doesn’t have to be objectively smarter to do this; the perception just has to be that he is.

30 Don't Demand That She Tell You What She's Thinking

This is another of the few good ones. I just included it to give you a picture of how beta this guy was. Any guy who asks his girlfriend or wife what she’s thinking should lop off and donate his testicles to science. Right now.

31 Don't Buy Into Your Grandparents' Gender Roles

And that, good sir, is why you lose. Our grandparents didn’t just come up with their “gender roles” out of the ether; they are biological realities. There is no denying our true natures.

Speaking of grandparents, imagine an alpha from the days of yore. Sean Connery, John Wayne, James Dean, Cary Grant. Now think back to this list. How many of these things can you seriously picture them abiding by? You could probably count them on one hand. Can you imagine Rhett Butler convincing himself he’s not as smart as Scarlett? Or “to buy whatever she wanted, whenever she felt like she needed it?”

Would the love have vanished because of these “failures”? Would his marriage have been on the rocks? Keep dreaming.


Types Of Beta: The J.F. Sebastian

There is no greater teaching tool than the real-world example. The next best option is the manufactured example based on a “type” which can be found in the real world–i.e., movies.

The Manosphere is chock-full of references to the alpha-beta dynamic. But what does it mean to be an alpha or a beta? Or, more precisely, what does it look like? How exactly does the alpha succeed and the beta fail in both the hedonistic pursuit of sexual interaction and the romantic pursuit of the fulfilling relationship? In an attempt to answer this, I plan a recurring series of “Types” posts, featuring greater alphas and lesser betas and everything in between. No need to focus on omegas–just flip the channel to TLC on a weeknight sometime if you want a glimpse into that self-inflicted hell.

For my first beta type, I refer you to the sci-fi classic Blade Runner. As I watched it recently, it occurred to me how much one of the characters–J.F. Sebastian–reminded me of oh-so-many guys I’ve come across over the years.

Sebastian’s character, played by William Sanderson, is a genetic designer working for the Tyrell Corporation, which created some renegade Replicants (androids) seeking to confront their maker. Two of these Replicants–the male Batty and female Pris–use Sebastian to gain access to Tyrell, where Batty kills him (and, it is implied, Sebastian as well).

The following transcript is the scene in which Pris, who pretends to be vagabond sleeping in a pile of trash, arranges her preplanned meeting with Sebastian (my comments in crimson):

Sebastian: Hey! You forgot your bag.

Pris: I’m lost.

Sebastian: Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you. (pause) What’s your name?

Pris: Pris.

Sebastian: Mine’s J. F. Sebastian.

Already he has come off as harmless as a three-legged puppy and given out his name unprovoked. Rough start.

Pris: Hi.

Sebastian: Hi. Oh, where were you going? Home?

Pris: I don’t have one. We scared each other pretty good, didn’t we?

Sebastian: We sure did.

Her frame.

Pris: I’m hungry.

J. F. Sebastian: I’ve got some stuff inside. You want to come in?

No challenge, no teasing…no fun.

Pris: I was hoping you’d say that.

As Sebastian walks up to his building to unlock the door, the camera pans on a mischievous Pris, slyly grinning as she realizes her plan is moving along swimmingly. Imagine a spoiled girl getting her daddy to cave into her desires just because she puts on the innocent act. Sebastian falls for it hook line and sinker.

[Pris and Sebastian enter building.]

Pris: Do you live in this building all by yourself?

Sebastian: Yeah, I live here pretty much alone right now. No housing shortage around here. Plenty of room for everybody. (pause)

Being a lone wolf isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it’s clear he’s not exactly turning on any preselection switches here.

Pris: (cough)

Sebastian: Watch out for the water.

Pris: Must get lonely here.

J. F. Sebastian: Mmm… Not really. I make friends… [Wait a second, maybe he can recover here!] They’re toys. My friends are toys. [Nevermind.] I make them. It’s a hobby. I’m a genetic designer. Do you know what that is?

Another unprovoked piece of information.

Pris: No.

Sebastian: Yoo-hoo, home again.

Toys: Home again, home again, jiggity jig. Good evening.

J. F. Sebastian: Good evening, fellas.

Toy 1: Oooh!

Sebastian: They’re my friends. I made them. Where are you’re folks?

Pris: I’m sort of an orphan.

Sebastian: Oh, what about your friends?

Pris: I have some, but I have to find them. I’ll let ’em know where I am tomorrow.

Sebastian: Oh. Can I take those things for you? They’re soaked aren’t they?

And finishes it off with a little dose of white knightery. You can see where this is going.

I won’t post any more of the script, as this is enough to demonstrate the J.F. Sebastian Beta. Suffice to say, he goes on to get embarrassingly cockblocked (Batty comes over and kisses Pris right in front of him), talks about why he is physically unable to leave Earth (caused by the “accelerated decrepitude” of Methuselah Syndrome), and gets killed in a naive effort to allow Batty to speak with Tyrell. (You can see that scene–great cinema, by the way– here. Note Sebastian’s bewildered, cowering demeanor at 1:53.)

For sake of argument, I’m treating the interactions Sebastian had with Pris as pick-up opportunities, even if the actual situation was not such. I simply analyze the interactions for what they are and what can be gleaned from them. Also keep in mind the crimson arts are more than picking up women in bars; they compose a suite of traits useful for any social encounter.

Further, I realize Blade Runner is far from being a film one watches to critique the nuances of good and bad game, but I saw in this side character a beta too blustering to pass up as an example. So then, my final assessment of the J.F. Sebastian, categorized by important aspects of game: (Ratings: Very weak, weak, moderate, strong, very strong)

Opening: Moderate. He allowed her to spook him in his territory, but she opened him (albeit for nefarious reasons) and he was, at the very least, engaging.

Negs/Teasing: Very weak. He presents no challenges. He fails to leverage the situation to his advantage by knocking her down a peg.

Qualifying: Very weak. Hmmm… strange girl in an ominous world just shows up out of nowhere and wants to come into your house and you abide without asking her a single qualifying question?

DHV: Weak. He has no friends besides toys, but at least he doesn’t apologize for it. Also, he seems to not give off the vibe he’s miserable in his situation, so it’s not his weakest attribute.

Preselection: Very weak. He is practically begging for a female visitor. Pris knows his sexual loneliness is a vulnerability and she takes full advantage of it.

Rapport: Moderate. Most betas aren’t bad at this; the problem is they focus solely on this and fall into the friend zone. Sebastian does his best to get to know her, but most of it is a barrage of the boring questions girls are all-too accustomed to hearing.

Frame Control: Very Weak. Whether it’s with Pris or Batty in later scenes, Sebastian’s world is always swallowed up by the world of his guests.

Physical (Body Language, KINO): Very weak. He has no sense of escalation, and exhibits mostly docile, even submissive, body language.

Dark Triad: Weak. He is a beacon of nonthreatening passivity, but I’ll give him points for having a mysterious aura about himself and for working for the shady corporation in charge of manufacturing vengeful androids.

FINAL ANALYSIS: The J.F. Sebastian is the guy who would be, coincidentally, the beta most likely to watch Blade Runner by himself in his studio apartment on a Friday night rather than go out. He is warm, independent, and has the ability to gain rapport and trust from a woman. He probably has a mildly interesting vocation and maybe, if a woman is willing to dig deep enough, an enigmatic existence and life philosophy. He has some major sticking points, however. He has no sense of what it means to be dominant, and is easily manipulated. His frame is feeble. He pedestalizes women and hopes they will like him for his dotty nice-guy disposition, to no avail. While he’s not necessarily an introvert, he is content with his enclosed world, and thus, his hopes of ever spreading his seed are low without massive game intervention and some friends willing to pull him out of his comfort zone.

If you have any ideas for an alpha or beta type whom I could analyze using this system, please comment here. There are scores of different types of men; I don’t put limits on how many examples I choose to learn from.

Female Rock Singer Comes Clean (Dirtily)

Once in awhile, when the planets align just so, the world of red pill truth is made known by someone of the female persuasion. Metal band In This Moment, led by Maria Brink, has a new song, “Blood,” which does just that.

First of all, I must give a shout-out to the ditty itself. In This Moment hasn’t found itself at the top of my ipod playlist before, but “Blood” is an aggressive and melodic journey of a song that will no doubt remain a favorite for years to come.

Beyond the unique sound, there’s something else very revealing in this song — its lyrics. It’s rare enough to get the truth out of males in the entertainment industry, many of whom reflect the current sad-sack state of our society by pedestalizing women and demonizing men, but to hear it from females is a virtual non-occurrence (aside from Rihanna). As such, I feel obliged to post the lyrics here, with brief input of my own (in crimson font). Behold, a glance into What Women Don’t Want®, and What Women Really Want®…

I hate you for the sacrifices you made for me

I hate you for every time you ever bled for me

What Women Don’t Want: a man who puts her before himself. “He obviously can’t attract any other women,” says the Hamster.

I hate you for the way you smile when you look at me

What Women Don’t Want: a man who has fallen head-over-heels. “Now he’s going to start failing my shit tests,” frets the Hamster.

I hate you for never taking control of me

What Women Don’t Want: a man who is submissive. “I want to feel as though I am nothing,” muses the Hamster.

I hate you for always saving me from myself

What Women Don’t Want: a man who’s stable enough to save her. “He’s so boring,” mutters the Hamster.

I hate you for always choosing me and not someone else

What Women Don’t Want: a man who isn’t a player. “If he makes me his everything, I could obviously do better,” utters the Hamster.

I hate you for always pulling me back from the edge

I hate you for every good word you ever said

What Women Don’t Want: a man who compliments her. “He’s just saying that to get into my pants,” suggests the Hamster.

Blood, blood, blood, pour more through my veins

Shut your dirty, dirty mouth, I’m not that easy

Blood, blood, blood, pour mud through my veins

I’m a dirty, dirty girl, I want it filthy

I love you for everything you ever took from me

What Women Really Want: a man who takes what he wants. “He’s so powerful,” swoons the Hamster.

I love the way you dominate and you violate me

What Women Really Want: a powerful man. “I orgasm freely when he takes me completely,” smiles the Hamster.

I love you for every time you gave up on me

What Women Really Want: a man not hypnotized by her games. “I can’t use sex as a bargaining chip. He must know how to get it elsewhere,” imagines the Hamster.

I love you for the way you look when you lie to me

What Women Really Want: a douchebag. “I like douchebags,” affirms the Hamster.

I love you for not believing in what I say

What Women Really Want: a man socially savvy enough to see through her bullshit. “He knows how my mind works. How sexy,” decides the Hamster.

I love you for never once giving me my way

What Women Really Want: to submit. “Maybe happiness isn’t what feminism tells me it is,” realizes the Hamster.

I love you for never delivering me from pain

What Women Really Want: pain. “Why don’t I want to fuck him whose shoulders I cry on?” asks the Hamster.

I love you for always driving me insane

What Women Really Want: drama. “I’m a spoiled American whore who needs chaos in my life,” says the Hamster.

Blood, blood, blood, pour more through my veins

Shut your dirty, dirty mouth. I’m not that easy

Blood, blood, blood, pour mud through my veins

I’m a dirty, dirty girl, I want it filthy

I hate you for every time you ever bled for me

Admittedly, this post may be a bit tongue-in-cheek, sure, but the one underlying truth that we must come to grips with is so perfectly illustrated in it: what women say they are attracted to and what they’re actually attracted to are completely different things. Thank you Maria Brink for the honesty.

Five Roissy Quotes: Beta Edition

Welcome to the second edition of “Five Roissy Quotes.” As an homage to the inspiration of my blog, I present five thoughts from the Chateau on betas:

  • “A beta male’s biggest shortcoming is his fear of offending his woman. Hey betas, newsflash: women WANT you to offend them. Not all the time, of course. But enough times that she is helpfully reminded of the alpha male she wants to believe you are. Sexual tension can be ramped up to incredible heights by edgy, borderline insulting banter.” (“Found! Useful Relationship Advice From A Woman,” 21 March 2011)
  • “The next time you feel the urge to send a lovingly crafted email or text or IM to a woman who you haven’t yet banged, remember this true story from the vaults of the Chateau. Visualize the hosts reading your email out loud to the guffaws of a roomful of cute girls who soften their laughter with pitying, and faintly contemptuous, hedges about what a ‘niceguy’ and ‘sweet guy’ you are, and… STOP, CROP and CULL. Stay your hand. Turn off the spigot of beta diarrhea. Calm your fiery but unfocused passion. Shut your mouth. Delete that fucking ode. Because it WILL, one way or another, one day sooner or later, be used against you in a kangaroo court of amoral soul flaying. If you want to win at this game, there is only one road to victory– penis in vagina. No amount of painstakingly composed and heartfelt emails, yearning voicemails, or chivalric IMs emanating with the faint whiff of beggary will ever match in manly will to power the physical act of fucking. That is your trump card, and nothing a woman holds can beat it.” (“Soulkill,” 14 February 2011)
  • “This canard that women can’t resist or leave abusive relationships is utter bullshit. Funny, women seem to have no trouble at all resisting the come-ons of non-assholes, or leaving relationships with beta boyfriends. Where will she go? To whom will she turn? What about the chance he might stalk her? Those questions never come up when the man she’s leaving is a man she doesn’t love.” (“Carolyn Hax, Man-Hating Algorithm,” 5 August 2010)
  • “Beta is a state of mind that can be found anywhere. It is anhedonic. Game is the cure.” (“Feminists Still Not Getting It, Never Will,” 14 July 2010)
  • “Sorry betas, your conversations don’t get overanalyzed by women. They get disappeared; sucked into a void of whitenoise. You know, kinda like how you don’t remember a single word a fat chick said to you.” (“Is College A Poon Nirvana?,” 11 February 2010)

Overcoming my natural betaness was a lengthy challenge, a battle I continue to fight. But the fight is worth it. No self-respecting man wants to be the piñata that is today’s modern American male. I’m glad I came to this understanding before it was too late.

Girls Don’t Want A Gentleman

Rarely does a song come along these days that espouses such a high number of Roissyan concepts than “Gentleman” by Canadian-based band (Canadian? Yeah, Canadian) Theory of a Deadman. Sure, there are plenty of sex ditties out there written by rich womanizing rockers and rappers, but few hit on the themes of truth put forth at the Chateau and others who share his worldview.

Without further ado… I present to you “Gentleman,” sprinkled with hyperlinks to Roissy posts hitting on the same themes:

I’ll let the door hit you right in the face
And when the check comes, I’ll make you pay
Don’t have a car, I guess you’re picking me up
And in the back seat we’ll be falling in love
My only job is to lie on this couch
And while you’re workin’ I’ll be hangin’ out
Now don’t get mad cause you knew from the start
I was an asshole who would never go far

Cause when you’re really good to girls,
Give them your entire world,
They end up walking away.

(Hey, Hey)
They don’t want a standard guy, rather have you cheat and lie,
And do something they hate

Girls don’t want a gentleman
They say they do but in the end
Girls don’t want a gentleman
They want a loser like me
Girls don’t want a gentleman
If you want to get to them
Girls don’t want a gentleman
They want a loser like me

Your parents cry when you bring me around
They raised you up just so I can take you down
There goes your life right before their eyes
I’ll have you bare foot pregnant, going outta your mind

Cause when you’re really good to girls
Give them your entire world
They end up walking away
(Hey, Hey)
They don’t want a standard guy, rather have you cheat and lie
And do something they hate

Girls don’t want a gentleman
They say they do but in the end
Girls don’t want a gentleman
They want a loser like me
Girls don’t want a gentleman
If you want to get to them
Girls don’t want a gentleman
They want a loser like me

I used to be a nice guy
But that don’t get you anywhere
So now I’m just a piece of shit, idiot
Who’s too stupid to care

When you give a girl respect
Treat her like she is the best
You’re nothing to her

She’d rather have you playing games
Piss her off and make her wait
If you want it to work

Girls don’t want a gentleman
They say they do but in the end
Girls don’t want a gentleman
They want a loser like me
Girls don’t want a gentleman
If you want to get to them
Girls don’t want a gentleman
They want a loser like me

Dear Beta

Based on a true beta I know. His social circle is his church (which goes to show you, it doesn’t matter how much Christlove a girl gets raised believing in; if you don’t make her vagina moist, you aren’t getting her love). The first draft of a letter I’d like to give him one day:

Dear Beta,

I write you this letter because I pity you. And I hate having to cringe every time I see you interact with women. There are a few things that you need to understand if you’re ever going to be happy. Right now you’re living in a world of pretty lies; it would behoove you to take what I have to say seriously. Know that as it stands, you are the butt of most of the jokes in your social circle.

Girls don’t want to be with you, and guys sure as hell don’t want to be you. But why? you might ask. You do everything right, don’t you? You’re friendly, accommodating, agreeable, sensitive, you follow the rules. You can be funny and even witty from time to time. Yet these people, no matter how religious they claim to be, don’t respect you. Is it because they’re just assholes and bitches? Nope. If your path remains unaltered, it wouldn’t matter who composed your social circle, or where it was. They still wouldn’t respect you. It’s human nature to respect the strong, and sorry, that doesn’t encompass you in any way. So time for a little self-examination. It’s your fault. You never understood women and, if perpetually left to only your own devices, never will.

Fortunately, by acknowledging your own fault in the matter comes the revelation that you have the power to fix it. And there is hope. But for that hope to come to fruition, you have to drastically change yourself. Now, I see the potential in you. You have tools to work with. Lack of shyness. Sense of humor. You certainly aren’t apprehensive about touching girls.  You just need to learn how to refine these traits into an entity known as your Best Self.

First of all, you need a fresh start. Your current social circle is toxic. Vacate the premises pronto. Find another group with whom you can still identify as far as your values go. Apply everything you are about to learn to them. You will immediately see a positive change in how you are perceived. If you insist on holding on to the soul-sucking environment you’re currently immersed in, don’t expect sudden (or even eventual) respect. You’ve lost them, son. The only way to ever get those girls to respect you is to get out of there for a significant amount of time and return a new, self-assured man, preferably with a beautiful girl on your arm months later. That’s the only way.

You need to display confidence in all that you do, say, and think. Cut the humility act for now; once you commit to this path, do so without excuse or apology. Forget what anyone has said in the past; you can become a new man, a man who radiates positive energy and charisma, a man who can get the girl chasing after him instead of the other way around. But you must believe in yourself first.

Speaking of that, stop following around your love interests like a little lost puppy. It is sickening. Learn to realize when you’ve failed. (Hint: you’ve failed with every girl in your current circle; don’t waste one more second musing over the impossibility they will suddenly decide they actually like you) Chasing after girls who obviously don’t reciprocate your interest is about the quickest way to suck the dignity right out of you. Don’t give them that power.

I suspect that you have trouble recognizing the obvious when it comes to the actions of that special someone you’re going after (or you do, and have just been lying to yourself during the arduous trek of romantic masochism you’ve put yourself through). When that girl never approaches you with excitement in her eyes as you enter a room, she’s not into you. When that girl doesn’t return your calls and texts for hours, days, or at all, she’s not into you. When that girl rejects plan after plan you craft to get together without offering any sort of alternative time or plan herself, she’s not into you. When you touch that girl and she, displaying the look of someone ready to projectile vomit, pushes herself away at the first opportunity, she’s not into you. Get the picture? When a girl is into you, you will know. You will feel it.

Obtaining love from women is a process, my beta friend. It’s not something that comes out of the ethereal mists. You can’t skip integral portions of the process and expect to get results. You’ve got to follow the rules that they have laid out. So stop praying and start playing.  To do that, you have to dedicate a relatively equal amount of time to the attraction phase, the rapport phase, and the seduction phase (in that order). Read the book I’ve enclosed with this letter. It gives the most concise explanation of the stages of pick-up of anything I’ve read.

This letter isn’t meant to give you all the answers. It’s meant to show you that there is a way out of the hell you’re living in. Game offers that hope. Believe in God too; I’m not here to tell you to abandon something that offers hope in something beyond this life. But if you spend all your days worrying about the afterlife, you’ll soon realize you forgot how to make the most out of your present life. Mastered game is the elixir to every broken heart or empty titillation you’ve ever experienced as a result of failure with females. And to master game, you must shed the false beliefs, like how some are “naturals” and some aren’t, and truly go after what you desire. You’ve always had it in you to obtain everything you’ve seen the “naturals” get your entire life, but it requires accepting a new path of enlightenment and then real-world application of those principles. The world can be yours. Take it.

Prince Of England Game

In light of the joyous news from across the Atlantic, I bring you Prince of England Game. Good ol’ boy William is behaving just like your average beta (or RFC, Royal Frustrated Chump), allowing his bride-to-be Kate Middleton to nix an obedience clause from her wedding vow. Those of us who know what’s up are going to have to step in and take the reins.

Prince of England Game is all about options. Options come from status. Having political power (or the figurehead ersatz held by William) isn’t necessary. Charisma, however, is. We need to get to the point where we are flooded with enough possibilities of pussy that we can mentally imbue ourselves with the status of a prince. It doesn’t matter if it’s true; we just have to behave like it’s true. Imagine the difference if men started viewing themselves as the prize and not the other way around. It would make men happier, and it would make women happier. Orgasmically happier.

Obviously, William doesn’t apply Prince of England Game, although he is in a position to do it without afterthought. I illustrate for you, with the example of Will and Kate’s pre-marriage “discussion” (you can bet he didn’t put up much protest), the Alpha vs. Beta dynamic, in dramatic prose format:

Kate: Um, William dear, I think I’m gonna nix that whole obedience part out of my wedding vow.

Beta William: Oh no problem, my darling! After all, it is your special day. Anything I can do to accommodate your every request. In fact, I was going to suggest you extirpate the obedience demand anyway. A barbarian bit of chauvinism, really.

Kate: Um, William dear, I think I’m gonna nix that whole obedience part out of my wedding vow.

Alpha William: Well then I’m gonna have to nix that whole getting married to you decision.

Kate: What?

Alpha William: Yeah. I’ll just have to move on the best I can. I don’t know if I’ll even have time to meet another girl, as I’m so busy being the Prince of England.

Kate: Ya know, on second thought, I’ll just keep it in.

Alpha William: That’s right you will. Go fetch me a beer.

Think it won’t work? Think again. Giving in to demands like these increases a woman’s resentment towards you. The Prince will soon be reaping the fruits of his beta ways. I suspect the chapters in his biography will one day be entitled as such:

On getting married- Better Kate than Never

On his marriage- Will and Kate Plus Hate

On his wife’s attitude toward him- Fire at Will

On his loss of attraction for his aging wife- The Prince and the Flopper

On his fate- Royally Screwed

Perpetuating The Paltry Platitudes

I’m not beautiful or gorgeous. I haven’t got an amazing figure or a flat stomach. I’m far from being considered model material but I’m me. I eat junk food and love to wear my pj’s and no make up. I’m random and crazy. I am who I am- love me or not, I won’t change ME! Girls, put this as your status if you’re proud of who you are (but wouldn’t mind looking like a model).

This is the latest copy-and-paste status being posted by unattractive girls throughout the facebook world.

Oh the resolute stubbornness of some girls! Instead of looking at their repugnant faces in the mirror with a shred of humble introspection, they take the coward’s way out, hiding under the guise of being satisfied with “who they are” (even though deep down they’re miserable- does that last parenthetical line not say it all?).

Let’s not kid ourselves though; there are men out there with the same mentality- the beta male who declares his dogmatic devotion to a distorted worldview. I imagine the equivalent facebook status would look something like this:

“I’m not witty or charismatic. I haven’t got a sense of humor or a keen social sense. I’m far from being considered a pick-up artist but I’m me. I spend my life in the fantasy world of video games, love to keep myself busy with the minutia of daily life, and believe that love will fall into my lap someday as fate decides. I’m predictable and boring. I am who I am- love me or not, I won’t change ME! Boys, put this as your status if you’re proud of who you are (but wouldn’t mind being able to bed hot babes).”

Our increasingly indolent, entitlement-minded society has spawned more and more people who are numb to the concept of changing themselves. It’s gotten to the point that they actively fight against it. The mantra “Just be yourself” has sunk in like the average American’s ass into a couch cushion, and anyone who questions its validity in the real world is deemed an intolerant hater.

If you are a fat woman or a beta male trying to successfully sift your way through the dating market, it is not only advantageous to change, but imperative. If you want to find a mate who meets your standards (and who doesn’t?), then you first have to meet those standards yourself. Stop making excuses, stop with the smoke-and-mirrors tactics of hollow platitudes, and do what you need to do to be happy. Lose weight. Learn game. Step out of your comfort zone. But don’t ever settle.