Five Roissy Quotes: Alpha Edition

Welcome to another post in the Five Roissy Quotes series. I have yet to explore the Chateau’s best musings on Alphas. Voila:

  • “Women will fondly remember those alpha male intimate moments for years afterwards — in fact, they’ll remember right up until they are reclined on their deathbeds — and their ability to bond with lesser men will be severely compromised.” (“File Under: Five Minutes Of Alpha,” 11 March 2011)
  • “The crux of the matter is that women do not desire men of equal status. They desire men of higher status than themselves. It’s academic from where your status accrues; it could come from game, money, looks, wit, humor, artistic talent, popularity, social savviness or stone cold aloofness. As long as you are higher status than her on some important evolutionarily circumscribed metric, her veins will course with lust for your animal magnetism.” (“Why You Shouldn’t Support Your Girlfriend’s Goals,” 14 January 2011)
  • “Confidence is the result of years of successful interaction with women. A man getting the love of women is a confident man. A man getting scorned is a doubtful man. Confidence is not some abstract, nebulous ephemera that alights like cosmic dust on a man who wills it into existence. Confidence is a manifest set of behaviors and attitudes that reflect a man’s inner emotional harmony. This emotional harmony is better known as “becoming alpha”. A man not getting what he wants in life can observe, learn, and mimic the behaviors of confident men until he starts experiencing the success he wants and his emotional state follows in accordance. There is no definition of confidence that doesn’t include these behaviors and attitudes.” (“Reader Mailbag: Bloupie Edition,” 8 October 2009)
  • “The envious and scandalized often write in the comments here what an unhappy life the inveterate womanizer must lead, jumping from one conquest to another, refusing to embrace the putative alphaness of forgetting to put on the condom and fathering children, as if that’s a great and noble challenge. Good little doggies who play by the rules, trundling their way through arid, dull lives, boost their flagging spirits by imagining that their betters are unhappy, despite the evidence to the contrary. You see, the rule followers despise the rule breakers because they know what it means — if you have something to offer you can get away with breaking the rules. And they follow the rules because… they have nothing else to offer. People will negotiate with the winners on their terms; not so with the losers. They must bend to the whim of the majority.” (“The Lifestyle,” 16 December 2008)
  • “Many want to believe that getting girls is ancillary to being a true alpha male; that the real measure of an alpha lies in his ability to dominate other men, or his command of his environment, or his thirst for swashbuckling adventure.  While these are admirable alpha traits, they are nothing but a means to an end.  Make no mistake, at the most fundamental level the CRUX of a man’s worth is measured by his desirability to women, whether he chooses to play the game or not.  Pussy is the holy grail.  That is why the obese, socially maladroit nerdboy who manages to unlock the gate to the secret garden and bang a 10 regularly is an alpha male.  And that is also why the rich, charming entrepreneur who because of an emotional deficiency or mental sickness lives mired in parched celibacy is not an alpha male.” (“Defining The Alpha Male,” 19 September 2007)

Roissy’s definition of the alpha male has long been controversial among my circle of associates, many of whom stand by the false idea that fathering children is the measure of alpha. But, as you read here, assessing alpha in such a way is ridiculous. It’s all about attitude and status. In fact, siring offspring will likely drain a man of his alphaness, in this society of divorce theft and child support rapeage.

To see previous Roissy quote posts, follow these links:

The Chateau on Feminism

The Chateau on Betas

The Chateau on Game


More Alpha Inspiration From Sick Puppies

A couple years ago, I brought to you a lyric video of the rock band Sick Puppies’ “Riptide,” a good example of alpha attitude. As I’ve listened to more of the Tri-Polar album, I’ve become more and more enthralled by another song contained on it: “So What I Lied.” Give it a listen, and tell me you don’t think lead singer Shimon Moore could run his own Manosphere blog.


I’ll post the lyrics here. And while they pretty much speak for themselves, I’ll add a few hyperlinks and thoughts in red pill crimson font.

The window’s cracked, I’m looking out
I see her and I’m filled with doubt
I don’t know if this parking place
Is just another empty space
Words I’ve said aren’t coming true
I don’t know if it’s me or you
This promise is too hard to keep
I have to speak

Our singer faces guilt, one of the five roadblocks to game. How he will handle it will determine his alpha or beta nature.

So what, I lied
But the truth would’ve been suicide
Monogamy is all she wants from me
But I see my life
And it’s way too short
Don’t blame me for not being subservient to others’ needs
I’m at the point where honesty just doesn’t fucking work for me

What a narcissist! you might think. Maybe so, but he’s just coming to grips with his own nature. Not to mention giving women exactly what they want.

I did my best to try and be
A mirror of society
But we both know the mirror’s cracked
And everybody’s in the act
Faking what they cannot feel
Hoping they can make it real
Reality is killing me

The hamsters are strong among the human race. When reality meets mere potentiality, reality wins every time. Eventually.

So what, I lied
But the truth would’ve been suicide
Monogamy is all she wants from me
But I see my life
And it’s way too short
Don’t blame me for not being subservient to others’ needs
I’m at the point where honesty just doesn’t fucking work for me

Monogamy is all she wants from me
But I see my life
And it’s way too short

Erect a life I’ll never see
I’ll stand back from the scenery
And laugh at all the other guys
Who never could escape in time
Stuck like flies on sticky tongues
Chewed up ‘fore their life is done
I’m not here to compromise or apologize

This is the verse that stands out. Male polygamy and female hypergamy apologize to no one, and our uncompromising alpha, under the full effects of the red pill, knows it. In no place can I better find an example of the dichotomy of fates between those who take the red pill and those who take the blue pill.

So what, I lied
But the truth would’ve been suicide
Monogamy is all she wants from me
But I see my life
And it’s way too short
Don’t blame me for not being subservient to others’ needs
I’m at the point where honesty just doesn’t fucking work for me

Life-is too fucking short
It’s too fucking short
It’s too fucking short

28,000 days on this planet, Mystery pointed out. And most of us have burned through at least 1/3 of those already. What we do with those few precious days we have left is up to us, of course. And most men will live and die forgettable mediocrities. But when we step back and face cold-hard reality, like Shimon has done, who can blame him for unlatching the shackles of beta servitude and going after his true desires?

I’m not necessarily opposed to the idea of monogamy, but as this song points out, in most cases it’s just that: an idea. A wish. A pipedream. Not that it can’t come true, but if you’re finding it to be elusive, don’t let yourself die a bitter old man who never pursued what he want because of your stubborn insistence on “making it work.”

So You’re Suddenly Cocky-Funny?

Over at PUA Forums, there was a concern coming from someone who felt he had failed in transitioning from his old AFC self to cocky-funny at his workplace, noting that the girls there didn’t want to talk to him anymore. There was an insightful comment from LockDown, who expounded on a theory he had about using cocky-funny techniques on girls at work:

Im not a super PUA yet or anything but i had a theory about c and f and work.

I believe when u try it at work, you are dealing with women who have known u for so long that c&f fries their brain. They already have u set up as a friend ( u said they used to hang out). Now they see a new side of u… an attractive side. Its hard to reconcile those two things. So they kinda back off. B4 they were comfortable with u because u were in LJBF zone (unless u have more info to contrary). So it was easy for them to approach u and ask to hang out. However, when u show the alpha qualities, they now want u to lead. They are attracted so they go into ‘ i dont want to give off obvious signs that i like him’ mode.

But trust me its there. U just have to lead now. Take the rains and run with it. Im sure they are at least curious about why/how u had this personality change.

I too have noticed this phenomenon. When you go C&F on a girl you’ve never met before, she won’t bat an eye, because she doesn’t have any preconceived notions of you. But when you do it on a girl who knows you already (particularly at work, where you’re not only pegged as beta but you’re also within the bounds of a “professional” environment), your feedback may not be so welcoming.

The reason I quote LockDown’s post and not the others isn’t because there wasn’t good advice, but that it was predictable — he went “over the top,” he didn’t “calibrate correctly,” etc. But they were all based on the assumption that the girls at work didn’t like what he was doing. LockDown’s analysis adds another possibility — that they actually were attracted to their new and improved co-worker but didn’t know how to “reconcile” it. In other words, the same behavior coming from a complete stranger would have had them swooning, but because it was from their LJBF work buddy, they rationalized against their attraction.

I like the last paragraph of the comment the best. It illustrates the maxim that irrational self-confidence trumps rational defeatism every time. Assume the sale. That is the heart of cocky-funny. Without that attitude as your foundation, your cocky-funny will crash and burn, and will make girls uncomfortable. Also, he is very astute in the observation that the girls are “at least curious” about why the sudden change in attitude and behavior has come about. Even if he did take it “too far,” the female brain can’t help but wonder why. And if they’re wondering about you, that means you’ve gotten into their heads — which puts you above 90% of the ignored whitenoise coming from the scores of betas they sift through every day.

Of course it’s possible that the guy who made the original post didn’t calibrate properly, and the advice of the other posters was spot-on. But as far as what we can take and apply from his experiences, LockDown’s theory is what should be kept in mind. Just a few caveats:

  • Don’t bother trying this on unattractive girls, and keep it to a minimum on average girls. The hotter the girl, the better C&F game works. And while every girl, fat or thin, ugly or pretty, will be curious about the change, why bother if she’s not worth hooking up with?
  • It should be obvious, but save your best C&F game for when you get together outside the workplace. The core of your workplace game should be about leading with authority, constructing an unbreakable frame, and not being overly accommodating to others’ demands. So in other words, demonstrate alpha much more indirectly than directly. The last thing you need is some bullshit sexual harassment suit. But then again, if you’re really C&F’ing correctly, they’re going to feel so disqualified that if you do get in trouble, it will be for simply being an asshole. Not necessarily a bad thing. Calibration is of utmost importance on this one.
  • Don’t actively chase any girl who has LJBF’ed you. Your pursuits should be going towards a new crop of girls. Let the co-worker chicks chase you if they like your game enough. But remember, the best way for that to happen is to combine your C&F with a little dose of preselection.

Female Rock Singer Comes Clean (Dirtily)

Once in awhile, when the planets align just so, the world of red pill truth is made known by someone of the female persuasion. Metal band In This Moment, led by Maria Brink, has a new song, “Blood,” which does just that.

First of all, I must give a shout-out to the ditty itself. In This Moment hasn’t found itself at the top of my ipod playlist before, but “Blood” is an aggressive and melodic journey of a song that will no doubt remain a favorite for years to come.

Beyond the unique sound, there’s something else very revealing in this song — its lyrics. It’s rare enough to get the truth out of males in the entertainment industry, many of whom reflect the current sad-sack state of our society by pedestalizing women and demonizing men, but to hear it from females is a virtual non-occurrence (aside from Rihanna). As such, I feel obliged to post the lyrics here, with brief input of my own (in crimson font). Behold, a glance into What Women Don’t Want®, and What Women Really Want®…

I hate you for the sacrifices you made for me

I hate you for every time you ever bled for me

What Women Don’t Want: a man who puts her before himself. “He obviously can’t attract any other women,” says the Hamster.

I hate you for the way you smile when you look at me

What Women Don’t Want: a man who has fallen head-over-heels. “Now he’s going to start failing my shit tests,” frets the Hamster.

I hate you for never taking control of me

What Women Don’t Want: a man who is submissive. “I want to feel as though I am nothing,” muses the Hamster.

I hate you for always saving me from myself

What Women Don’t Want: a man who’s stable enough to save her. “He’s so boring,” mutters the Hamster.

I hate you for always choosing me and not someone else

What Women Don’t Want: a man who isn’t a player. “If he makes me his everything, I could obviously do better,” utters the Hamster.

I hate you for always pulling me back from the edge

I hate you for every good word you ever said

What Women Don’t Want: a man who compliments her. “He’s just saying that to get into my pants,” suggests the Hamster.

Blood, blood, blood, pour more through my veins

Shut your dirty, dirty mouth, I’m not that easy

Blood, blood, blood, pour mud through my veins

I’m a dirty, dirty girl, I want it filthy

I love you for everything you ever took from me

What Women Really Want: a man who takes what he wants. “He’s so powerful,” swoons the Hamster.

I love the way you dominate and you violate me

What Women Really Want: a powerful man. “I orgasm freely when he takes me completely,” smiles the Hamster.

I love you for every time you gave up on me

What Women Really Want: a man not hypnotized by her games. “I can’t use sex as a bargaining chip. He must know how to get it elsewhere,” imagines the Hamster.

I love you for the way you look when you lie to me

What Women Really Want: a douchebag. “I like douchebags,” affirms the Hamster.

I love you for not believing in what I say

What Women Really Want: a man socially savvy enough to see through her bullshit. “He knows how my mind works. How sexy,” decides the Hamster.

I love you for never once giving me my way

What Women Really Want: to submit. “Maybe happiness isn’t what feminism tells me it is,” realizes the Hamster.

I love you for never delivering me from pain

What Women Really Want: pain. “Why don’t I want to fuck him whose shoulders I cry on?” asks the Hamster.

I love you for always driving me insane

What Women Really Want: drama. “I’m a spoiled American whore who needs chaos in my life,” says the Hamster.

Blood, blood, blood, pour more through my veins

Shut your dirty, dirty mouth. I’m not that easy

Blood, blood, blood, pour mud through my veins

I’m a dirty, dirty girl, I want it filthy

I hate you for every time you ever bled for me

Admittedly, this post may be a bit tongue-in-cheek, sure, but the one underlying truth that we must come to grips with is so perfectly illustrated in it: what women say they are attracted to and what they’re actually attracted to are completely different things. Thank you Maria Brink for the honesty.

Great Scenes Of Game On TV

The rise of feminism in the West has manifested itself in many outlets, perhaps none more overt than in the entertainment industry. For the most part, American television and cinema has become an egalitarian wasteland flooded with stories of empowered chicks having their pick in the sexual market into their menopausal years and beyond, spineless men being forced into puppydog submission by their domineering wives, gender roles being completely reversed, beta persistence paying off to “win” the girl at the end, and beautiful young women pining over glittery vampires.

However, once in awhile, a gem stands out. And in this case, it comes in one of the unlikeliest of places — the long-running hit sitcom “Friends.” While cleverly written, “Friends” consistently parroted the popular feminist shibboleths of its day underneath the warm exterior of humor — that the player life was not one to be desired, that single motherhood should be celebrated, that past sluttiness shouldn’t be a deterring factor in committing to a girlfriend or wife, that pompous wedding ceremonies and ravish rings were the only legitimate way to kick off a marriage, etc.

The diamond in the rough came in a Season Nine run of episodes featuring a romance between Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) and her co-worker Gavin (Dermot Mulroney). Gavin, the “jerk” (Rachel’s words) who filled in for her while she was away on maternity leave, displayed some excellent examples of Alphetiquette in his brief run on the show. Needless to say, if you’re someone who enjoys seeing solid game (as opposed to beta pandering) winning over the girl, you’d probably wish NBC replaced the hapless Ross (David Schwimmer) with Gavin as Rachel’s ultimate choice at the end of the series.

Here is a clip of the scenes of the episode in which Gavin is introduced, with dialogue and the Colonel’s commentary below:

Scene 1: 0:00-0:36

[Ross and Rachel, with their newborn child, head to Rachel’s office at Ralph Lauren, where she plans to be returning in two weeks. They discuss how their girl keeps being mistaken for a boy.]

The only problem with the entire pickup is unveiled right away: Gavin’s about to go after a single mom. But since it’s Jennifer Aniston, who maintained her looks well into her 30s, I’ll cut him some slack.

Rachel: Who the hell are you!?

Gavin: Who the hell are you?

Hoop 1 avoided. Gavin immediately shows he’s in charge of the conversation and he’s not playing by the rules of beta social convention by eagerly answering every question like he would in a job interview.

Rachel: I’m the hell person whose office this is!

Ross: Good one, Rache.

Guy: I’m Gavin Mitchell, the person who’s taken over your job.

Now he answers, brimming with confidence and authority.

Rachel: Excuse me?

Gavin: Oh, your baby’s so cute. Why did you put a pink bow on a boy?

Probably not a neg you’d read in The Game but it achieves the same result.

Scene 2: 0:36-2:31

Rachel: Wait a minute! What do you mean, you’re taking over my job?

Gavin: Well, while you were on your baby vacation I was doing your job.

Game principle displayed: reframing.

Rachel: A vacation? My idea of a vacation does not involve something sucking on my nipples until they are raw.

Gavin: Clearly you’ve never been to Sandles Paradise Island.

Game principle displayed: wit.

Rachel: Alright! Don’t get too comfortable there, because I’m back in two weeks! And I want everything back to the way it was. I can’t say that I care too much for the way you’ve rearranged my office.

Gavin: I can’t say I care too much for that smell you’ve brought in with you.

You’ll notice he never lets her lead the conversation. And he never goes on the defensive; he simply reframes.

Rachel: Excuse me?

Ross: Rache, we have a code brown situation.

Rachel: Can you please, please take care of it for me?

Ross: Alright, but you have to do one sometime.

Meanwhile, in Betaland, Ross is stuck changing diapers for his born-out-of-wedlock child while his baby’s momma gets hit on by an alpha right in front of him.

Rachel: Let me just get this straight! So I go have a baby and they send some guy in to do my job?

Gavin: Well, there was talk of shutting down Ralph Lauren all together.

Funniest line of the episode. He’s slowly chiseling away at the pedestal guys like Ross took years to craft for her.

Rachel: That’s right. You’re very cheeky for a temp.

Gavin: I’m not a temp. I was transferred here from another department.

Rachel: Oh yeah, what department was that? The Jerk department?

If a girl calls you a jerk, especially while bantering with you, you know you’ve activated her tingle sequence.

Gavin: Oh, they didn’t tell me about your quick wit.

If only betas understood that respect must be earned. A bad comeback deserves teasing, not feeble supplication. And women wouldn’t have it any other way.

Rachel: Did they mention that I’m rubber and you’re glue?

Mr. Zelner: (Enters) Gavin, Ralph loved your ideas.

Rachel: Oh, hi Mr. Zelner.

Mr. Zelner: Ah, Rachel, I see you’ve met Gavin. I must say, when you left us we weren’t sure what we were gonna do. But then, Gavin to the rescue. Super Gavin!

His boss is a great wingman. DHV for him so he doesn’t have to.

Rachel: That’s great. So now, Super Gavin, when I come back where are you planning on flying off to?

Gavin: Well, that’s up to Mr. Zelner. I’m sure he’ll make the right decision.

Rachel: (To herself) Oh, wow. Super ass-kissing power.

Mr. Zelner: Incidentally, when are you coming back?

Rachel: Uh…today.

Gavin: You said two weeks.

Rachel: No, I said to-day! See, for a superhero, not so much with the listening.

Scene 3: 2:31-3:20

Rachel: Alright. Now that I’m back, why don’t you just fill me in on what you’ve been up to?

Gavin: Well, I’ve changed your screensaver from that picture of N-Sync.

More teasing. Excellent.

Rachel: Hey, they were popular when I left!

Gavin: But mostly I’ve just been working on this big presentation for tomorrow.

Rachel: Well, I should be involved in that, so why don’t you get me up to speed?

Gavin: That’s gonna take weeks. Why don’t just let me take care of the presentation?

Never forget the critical importance of body language and vocal tonality in pickup. If you were to just read Gavin’s previous line of dialogue, you’d probably imagine him whining this line, pleading with Rachel to allow him to take care of the presentation. But when you watch the video, you see he gives her a back turn, throws out an authoritative hand, and speaks the question as though it were a statement.

Rachel: Oh, no no no no. I see what you’re doing here, alright, listen, this is my job buddy. Okay, I’ve had it for five years, and I know how it works, so why don’t you just catch me up?

Gavin: Fine.

Notice how his responses are almost always more terse than hers. Game principle displayed: the 2/3 rule.

Rachel: (Sits down in her chair) Oh god. You’ve totally messed with the back support of my chair. How do you fix this?

Gavin: Hey, you’ve been here five years, you figure it out.

He wins an Asshole Game gold medal for this line (and the delivery by Mulroney is perfect). In a situation where most guys would rush at the chance to aid (or, more accurately, impress) the damsel in distress, he doesn’t. Game principle displayed: Don’t be like everyone else.

Rachel: Fine, I will. (Pushes lever on chair, making it collapse) Alright, fill me in!

Note the smug, shit-eating grin at 3:15. Mulroney’s got his alpha body language down pat.

Scene 4: 3:23-5:15

Gavin: (Enters) Wow, you’re here already.

Rachel: Yes. Emma and I came in a little early to do research on the presentation. I actually made a few changes, but I think I’m caught up on everything. So ask me anything!

Gavin: How do you fix the chair?

The best way to psychologically maintain your status above hers is through humor. Never take her too seriously.

Rachel: Except that! (Mr. Zelner enters) Oh, hello, Mr. Zelner. We’re all ready for our presentation this afternoon.

Mr. Zelner: Good, because it’s in ten minutes.

Rachel: What? I can’t do that! I have the baby, and Ross is not gonna pick her up for another hour.

Mr. Zelner: Well, then Gavin can give the presentation, okay, we have to do it now. Ralph needs to leave early today. He’s going helicopter shopping.

Rachel: Alright well, there you go. You win, you win. You get to do the presentation, you’ll knock ’em dead, no one will ever remember that I worked here, and then Ralph will buy his helicopter, and Super Gavin will just fly right along side of him!

Gavin: You can do the presentation.

This is where Gavin switches gears, displaying his nice guy side. This works because he has already demonstrated enough value at this point. This is a prime example of Contrast Game. He continues to defy her expectations, which is actually more attractive to her than had he plowed through a constant onslaught of a-hole game. Game principle demonstrated: Push-pull.

Rachel: No, I can’t, I have a baby.

Gavin: I’ll watch her.

Rachel: Why would you do that?

Gavin: Because you worked really hard, and it’s your job, and you’re a little crazy.

Once he transitions, however, he makes sure to not abandon the tactics that got him to this point. This shows her the original approach was not an act, that he’s genuine.

Rachel: That’s really nice.

Gavin: I should tell you that crying women make me very uncomfortable.

Rachel: Well you’re not gonna like what’s coming. (Starts crying) I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Thank you, thank you.

Gavin: I’m really fine, don’t worry, I’m great with children. (To Emma) Gavin Mitchell. Pleased to meet you.

This is the first (and only) time he qualifies himself to her in the entire episode. I wonder how long it would have taken most men confronting the snarky, attractive woman whose job they’d taken over. And if you are going to qualify yourself, at least demonstrate a game principle while you’re doing it — in this case, protector of loved ones.

She leaves, smitten as a schoolgirl.


There are no more videos on YouTube of Mulroney scenes from the other two episodes he was in (barring a grainy 46-second clip, again in the office, featuring mostly Rachel and Monica), but Gavin eventually kisses Rachel on her balcony. As a bonus for my readers, I’ll post the dialogue of that scene here as well:

[Rachel and Monica are standing outside on the balcony of their apartment. Rachel’s birthday party has just ended.]

Monica: Well, at least you have one thing to be happy about. That jerk Gavin from your office didn’t show up (Gavin shows up at the balcony windows).

Rachel: Mmm-hmm.

Gavin: Yeah, hey. (He comes in to the balcony)

Monica: Oh, we weren’t talking about you… No, no way to recover.

Rachel: No.

(Monica goes back inside)

Gavin: Nice party.

Rachel: Well, it was, and you would have seen it if you didn’t showed up at (looks at his watch) … 9:30? God! Oh, this party was lame!

Monica: (from inside) Again, you’re welcome.

Gavin: Look, I’ll just give you this and go.

Rachel: Oh, you bought me a present! Why?

Gavin: Well, let me explain how birthday parties usually work. There are presents, and a cake, perhaps a fourth or fifth person… OK, I… got you the present to make up for being such a jerk to you earlier.

More push-pull.

Rachel: Aww. Well, ok, well that’s very nice. And you wrote a card (opens the card). “From Gavin.”

Gavin: I really mean it.

Most girls view romantic gestures from a guy who hasn’t slept with her yet, much less kissed her, as not only unnecessary, but creepy. And certainly not a tingle generator. The card (and the accompanying joke) is perfect. And he did a good job rooting (by explaining how birthdays work — plausible deniability!) why he got her a gift.

Rachel: (opens the present, it’s a green scarf) Awww, awww, it’s beautiful.

Gavin: You don’t mind? (puts it around her neck) Well, what do you know, it fits!

He doesn’t just give her a scarf; he puts it around her neck. He is unafraid to kino escalate.

Rachel: See, Gavin, you’re capable of being a nice guy. Why did you give me such a hard time?

Gavin: I’m not sure.

Rachel: Well Monica seems to think it’s because you have feelings for me.

Gavin: I do have feelings for you.

Rachel: You do?

Gavin: Yes, I feel that you are a little annoying.

Reframe, push-pull, takeaway, all melded together. Great example of well-rounded game.

Rachel: See? Why, Gavin, why? Right when I’m about to change my opinion of you, you go and you … (he kisses her) and you do that … (they kiss again)

And one more push-pull to top it off. The kiss is the inevitable icing on the cake. He had this one-set on lockdown from the second he stepped onto the balcony. With PUA lessons like this, “Friends” might have been watchable in the final season had they kept Mulroney around.

Girls Don’t Want A Gentleman

Rarely does a song come along these days that espouses such a high number of Roissyan concepts than “Gentleman” by Canadian-based band (Canadian? Yeah, Canadian) Theory of a Deadman. Sure, there are plenty of sex ditties out there written by rich womanizing rockers and rappers, but few hit on the themes of truth put forth at the Chateau and others who share his worldview.

Without further ado… I present to you “Gentleman,” sprinkled with hyperlinks to Roissy posts hitting on the same themes:

I’ll let the door hit you right in the face
And when the check comes, I’ll make you pay
Don’t have a car, I guess you’re picking me up
And in the back seat we’ll be falling in love
My only job is to lie on this couch
And while you’re workin’ I’ll be hangin’ out
Now don’t get mad cause you knew from the start
I was an asshole who would never go far

Cause when you’re really good to girls,
Give them your entire world,
They end up walking away.

(Hey, Hey)
They don’t want a standard guy, rather have you cheat and lie,
And do something they hate

Girls don’t want a gentleman
They say they do but in the end
Girls don’t want a gentleman
They want a loser like me
Girls don’t want a gentleman
If you want to get to them
Girls don’t want a gentleman
They want a loser like me

Your parents cry when you bring me around
They raised you up just so I can take you down
There goes your life right before their eyes
I’ll have you bare foot pregnant, going outta your mind

Cause when you’re really good to girls
Give them your entire world
They end up walking away
(Hey, Hey)
They don’t want a standard guy, rather have you cheat and lie
And do something they hate

Girls don’t want a gentleman
They say they do but in the end
Girls don’t want a gentleman
They want a loser like me
Girls don’t want a gentleman
If you want to get to them
Girls don’t want a gentleman
They want a loser like me

I used to be a nice guy
But that don’t get you anywhere
So now I’m just a piece of shit, idiot
Who’s too stupid to care

When you give a girl respect
Treat her like she is the best
You’re nothing to her

She’d rather have you playing games
Piss her off and make her wait
If you want it to work

Girls don’t want a gentleman
They say they do but in the end
Girls don’t want a gentleman
They want a loser like me
Girls don’t want a gentleman
If you want to get to them
Girls don’t want a gentleman
They want a loser like me

Robbie Williams Runs A Clinic

I present to you British pop singer Robbie Williams… game master:


Robbie, by virtue of rock star status alone, could be considered a super alpha male. But add to that the fact that he has extraordinary game skills, and you’ve got a great exemplar to whom any aspiring alpha male should look.

A few characteristics he exhibits (among many):

-Teasing: He doesn’t take her seriously (and based off her lame interview, why should he?). He calls her out her sloppiness. Women love that.

-Genuine humor: “My knee’s still broke, my tendon’s still snapped…” I’m laughing out loud here.

-Escalation: He builds up and takes away the sexual tension as he so desires. She loves it. Notice he doesn’t begin with extremely high levels (and thus make her uncomfortable); he waits until he know he’s hooked her. His calibration is spot-on.

-Frame: He’s basically running the interview. “Come on, one more question…”

To sum up succinctly: Williams is entertaining as hell to watch in-field and the lass interviewing him has never been more turned on in her life.

Jay Cutler, Alpha Extraordinaire

Chicago Bears’ quarterback Jay Cutler ended the 2010 NFL season on the front page of the headlines, being accused of faking an injury in the Bears’ NFC Championship loss to the Packers (turns out he sprained his MCL). Now as Opening Day 2011 approaches, he’s in the news again. He dumped his reality star fiance, Kristen Cavallari, just days before the wedding.

Good for him.

Cutler is perhaps the most maligned player in the league. He’s been accused of being a crybaby and a quitter, overrated and spoiled. Don’t buy the hype. Six reasons to like #6:

  • Three-piece suits are always a good choice.
  • He nabbed an attractive high-status babe in Cavallari.
  • He’s a solid young quarterback. Broncos fans should rue the day their idiot new coach, Josh McDaniels, got rid of him. He’s by far the most gifted QB to come through Colorado since John Elway, and is easily talented enough to qualify as one of the league’s ten best. Since signing with the Bears, he has put up solid stats even with a mediocre receiving corps and an offensive line that has allowed their prime signal caller to get sacked 87 times in 31 games. Yet Cutler’s still managed to throw for almost 7,000 yards and 50 touchdown passes, not to mention win a playoff game, in that span.
  • The haters were completely misguided in their criticism of him after the championship loss to the Packers. As mentioned, his MCL was sprained. Did fans really expect him to play through an injury that his head coach figured would have possibly kept him out of a potential Super Bowl two weeks later had they advanced? The last thing you want to mess with is a knee injury, I don’t care what game it is. And then he gets criticized for not “appearing injured” on the sidelines. Let me pose a question to these dimwits: don’t you think if Cutler was faking his injury, the first thing he would have done would have been to wrench in pain all over the place? Or do they think he was applying the subtle tactic of reverse psychology? The fact is, he was physically unable to play and he took the pain (try spraining your knee sometime and tell me how it feels) like a man.
  • He dumped her before taking the unwise plunge into marriage. Good call. Cutler is 28 years old, has through-the-roof status and good looks, and the entire city of Chicago at his feet. Why end the dream by getting hitched to a girl whose fame has come from appearing in The Hills? He knew better. He knows he has options and he knows what marriage to a spoiled princess/attention whore was going to fetch him. Better to make that decision now than after she could swipe half his fortune in a messy divorce settlement 5-7 years down the road.
  • He appears to have solid relationship game. From one of Cavallari’s personal friends: “Jay Cutler was beyond controlling and didn’t really like Kristin to go out. When she did go out, he called all the time and demanded to know exactly where she was going and who she was with. He made her choose between him and being friends with a lot of her girlfriends. I’m not surprised it didn’t last.” Well maybe he had watched her season of Laguna Beach and didn’t like what he saw! Now I don’t recommend the average dude constantly calling in on his girl, but in a case like this, Cutler knew he had to keep her on a short leash. It’s obvious that whatever tactics he was using, he had hand in the relationship, and with someone of Cavallari’s sexual market value, that’s impressive, even for an NFL quarterback. Let’s not forget, also, that she was completely taken aback at the news. Who would dare dump her? A super alpha, that’s who.

Prince Of England Game

In light of the joyous news from across the Atlantic, I bring you Prince of England Game. Good ol’ boy William is behaving just like your average beta (or RFC, Royal Frustrated Chump), allowing his bride-to-be Kate Middleton to nix an obedience clause from her wedding vow. Those of us who know what’s up are going to have to step in and take the reins.

Prince of England Game is all about options. Options come from status. Having political power (or the figurehead ersatz held by William) isn’t necessary. Charisma, however, is. We need to get to the point where we are flooded with enough possibilities of pussy that we can mentally imbue ourselves with the status of a prince. It doesn’t matter if it’s true; we just have to behave like it’s true. Imagine the difference if men started viewing themselves as the prize and not the other way around. It would make men happier, and it would make women happier. Orgasmically happier.

Obviously, William doesn’t apply Prince of England Game, although he is in a position to do it without afterthought. I illustrate for you, with the example of Will and Kate’s pre-marriage “discussion” (you can bet he didn’t put up much protest), the Alpha vs. Beta dynamic, in dramatic prose format:

Kate: Um, William dear, I think I’m gonna nix that whole obedience part out of my wedding vow.

Beta William: Oh no problem, my darling! After all, it is your special day. Anything I can do to accommodate your every request. In fact, I was going to suggest you extirpate the obedience demand anyway. A barbarian bit of chauvinism, really.

Kate: Um, William dear, I think I’m gonna nix that whole obedience part out of my wedding vow.

Alpha William: Well then I’m gonna have to nix that whole getting married to you decision.

Kate: What?

Alpha William: Yeah. I’ll just have to move on the best I can. I don’t know if I’ll even have time to meet another girl, as I’m so busy being the Prince of England.

Kate: Ya know, on second thought, I’ll just keep it in.

Alpha William: That’s right you will. Go fetch me a beer.

Think it won’t work? Think again. Giving in to demands like these increases a woman’s resentment towards you. The Prince will soon be reaping the fruits of his beta ways. I suspect the chapters in his biography will one day be entitled as such:

On getting married- Better Kate than Never

On his marriage- Will and Kate Plus Hate

On his wife’s attitude toward him- Fire at Will

On his loss of attraction for his aging wife- The Prince and the Flopper

On his fate- Royally Screwed

Girlfriend Runs Toward Gunfire For Her Man

I was watching VH1’s 40 Greatest Pranks 3 the other day, and a certain Scare Tactics bit caught my attention.

I’m having trouble finding the actual prank in its entirety online, but this Scare Tactics Season 3 preview shows enough to allow me to illustrate my point. It shows our heroine from 0:30 to 0:36, 1:22 to 1:26, and again from 1:36 to 1:40.

Basically, it went down as follows: a van of friends (including our victim who looks just like Kristen Stewart, and her boyfriend, who was in on the joke) picks up a hitchhiker on the side of the road in the middle of the desert. Turns out he’s been infected with something nasty, as guys with hazmat suits pull over the van. After the hitchhiker is taken away (and then promptly shot, or so she thinks), KrisTwin’s boyfriend (who appeared to be infected) is taken away into a nearby tent. Next thing, she hears gunfire coming from the tent.

And what does she do?

She runs in after him. (See the 1:22-1:26 bit.)

How much do you care to wager her boyfriend was Alpha? (I mean, he was setting her up to get scared shitless on national TV. No beta would do that.) Our brave Bella did not cower in terror, worried only about self-preservation, like so many girls (or hell, people) would do, she went in after him, seemingly more concerned about her man’s life than her own. Her actions were so unexpected that the Scare Tactics crew had to let the cat out of the bag as soon she entered the tent- they didn’t even attempt to hide cameras in there because… well, who runs towards gunfire?

A woman in love, that’s who.

Gentlemen, this is a prime example of a boyfriend having higher status than his girlfriend- the way nature intended. KrisTwin isn’t too bad looking either, so it’s clear he’s DHV’d himself through the roof- all the way to finding a hot girlfriend willing to die for him.


P.S. Note the staunch difference in reactions between our heroine and the other girls who got pranked in this preview. Who would you rather date? KrisTwin, “I’m just a model” girl, or the bitch on the bus who couldn’t even sit in the same seat as the nearby child (whom she thought was in the same position as she was)?