Five Roissy Quotes: Beta Edition

Welcome to the second edition of “Five Roissy Quotes.” As an homage to the inspiration of my blog, I present five thoughts from the Chateau on betas:

  • “A beta male’s biggest shortcoming is his fear of offending his woman. Hey betas, newsflash: women WANT you to offend them. Not all the time, of course. But enough times that she is helpfully reminded of the alpha male she wants to believe you are. Sexual tension can be ramped up to incredible heights by edgy, borderline insulting banter.” (“Found! Useful Relationship Advice From A Woman,” 21 March 2011)
  • “The next time you feel the urge to send a lovingly crafted email or text or IM to a woman who you haven’t yet banged, remember this true story from the vaults of the Chateau. Visualize the hosts reading your email out loud to the guffaws of a roomful of cute girls who soften their laughter with pitying, and faintly contemptuous, hedges about what a ‘niceguy’ and ‘sweet guy’ you are, and… STOP, CROP and CULL. Stay your hand. Turn off the spigot of beta diarrhea. Calm your fiery but unfocused passion. Shut your mouth. Delete that fucking ode. Because it WILL, one way or another, one day sooner or later, be used against you in a kangaroo court of amoral soul flaying. If you want to win at this game, there is only one road to victory– penis in vagina. No amount of painstakingly composed and heartfelt emails, yearning voicemails, or chivalric IMs emanating with the faint whiff of beggary will ever match in manly will to power the physical act of fucking. That is your trump card, and nothing a woman holds can beat it.” (“Soulkill,” 14 February 2011)
  • “This canard that women can’t resist or leave abusive relationships is utter bullshit. Funny, women seem to have no trouble at all resisting the come-ons of non-assholes, or leaving relationships with beta boyfriends. Where will she go? To whom will she turn? What about the chance he might stalk her? Those questions never come up when the man she’s leaving is a man she doesn’t love.” (“Carolyn Hax, Man-Hating Algorithm,” 5 August 2010)
  • “Beta is a state of mind that can be found anywhere. It is anhedonic. Game is the cure.” (“Feminists Still Not Getting It, Never Will,” 14 July 2010)
  • “Sorry betas, your conversations don’t get overanalyzed by women. They get disappeared; sucked into a void of whitenoise. You know, kinda like how you don’t remember a single word a fat chick said to you.” (“Is College A Poon Nirvana?,” 11 February 2010)

Overcoming my natural betaness was a lengthy challenge, a battle I continue to fight. But the fight is worth it. No self-respecting man wants to be the piñata that is today’s modern American male. I’m glad I came to this understanding before it was too late.

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3 Responses to Five Roissy Quotes: Beta Edition

  1. Pingback: Five Roissy Quotes: Feminism Edition « Colonel Crimson

  2. Pingback: Five Roissy Quotes: Alpha Edition | Colonel Crimson

  3. Pingback: Five Roissy Quotes: Hard Truths Edition | Colonel Crimson

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