Why Men Need Not Listen To Pedestalizing Blowhards

Even though left-wing ideology (and the feminist ilk that regurgitates it) is the root cause of the sad state of the modern American sexual market, it doesn’t mean religious conservatives don’t have blood on their hands either. As evidenced by this vacuous piece by The Washington Post‘s resident pastor Mark Driscoll, a great deal of damage can be done by taking this worldview seriously as well.

For starters, I believe people like Driscoll have their heart in the right place, and science to back up their case– their underlying point, at least– that marriage is good for society. Indeed it is. Children raised in strong, two-parent households are less likely to fall into lives of crime and other assorted ne’er-do-well behavior. The stronger our families, the stronger our society. It’s a simple point many liberals refuse to concede.

Beyond that, however, people sharing Driscoll’s mindset are severely misguided. In the article, the pastor employs the “man-up” method of guilt-tripping guys into taking the plunge into marriage. Add that to the fact that he never specifies why exactly men need marriage, and you have something in serious need of the Colonel’s critical scrutiny.

His intro is laughable to anyone who’s ever taken a step back and put two and two together:

She was smart, funny, interesting, successful, attractive, kind, in her 40s, and still single.

After my wife Grace and I spent some time with the woman from our church, we could not fathom why no one had married her.

I’ll take Marky for his word and believe this 40-something was attractive. Regardless of whether or not it is true, her looks are nowhere near what they were at 25 and she is on the brink of sexual irrelevancy.

There is one subtle clue pointing to the reality of this poor woman’s situation, though– she is described as “successful.” More than likely, she followed the script so many females of her generation before her did– working her way up the corporate stepladder focusing on her “career” while in her 20s, meanwhile falling for and getting plowed by alphas, proceeding to get her heart broken by those alphas, ruining her forever to provider betas, continuing her ultimately pointless pursuits along the stepladder, seeing the alpha love slowly wane, causing her to develop a personality (becoming “smart, funny, interesting”), turning 40, and then suddenly realizing aloud, “Hey, wait a second! I’m not married! What gives?!”

Driscoll then solidifies my point by pointing out the statistics, which include the fact that more women are currently attending college and working a career track job than men. But instead of coming to the realization that it is women choosing these things over men, he predictably follows the pattern of all the other pedestal crafters like him. He absolves them of all blame.

What are the guys doing? Often, they’re acting like boys who can shave, getting drunk, watching porn, attending sporting events, and treating responsibility like Superman does green kryptonite.

Attending sporting events? Oh the humanity!

He continues:

So, many women are waiting longer to marry. Eventually, some get tired of the fools parade and settle for some guy who is more likely to act like a baby than help raise a baby. These guys make the worst husbands: gambling away the money, out late with the boys a lot, unfaithful, can’t seem to fit a full-time job in around his hobbies, and eventually trading in their 40-year-old wife for two 20-year-old girlfriends.

Basically, his argument is that the beta provider is a woman’s first choice, but because they’re too busy avoiding responsibility and getting drunk at baseball games, they “settle for” the cheating, aloof, immature badboy alpha.

Sorry, Mark. You’ve got it turned around. Those “babies” are choice numero uno in the ids of attractive women the world across, all to the detriment of the hard-working, responsible, ready-to-be-a-papa-for-scarce-pussy betas. And the effect of this rejection? You got it! Shunning responsibility and watching porn!

Even though he correctly points out the dynamics of the situation, his analysis of it is all fucked up. He’s not understanding what is the cause and what is the effect.

Seeing this dismal fate and unwilling to settle [read: marry a niceguy] or suffer [read: dump an alpha even though they’re still hopelessly in love with him], other young women just give up hope and decide it’s better to be single than sorry.

And ultimately, it is that decision that is the cause of the whole problem of men resorting to becoming boring directionless betas or arrogant asshole alphas. It’s not an effect.

Rather than some public outrage against irresponsible addictive selfish boys who can shave, what do we have? Comedies. From inane television shows like “The Big Bang Theory” to “How I Met Your Mother” to bromance movies and pull-my-finger comedies from Seth Rogen, Andy Samberg, Zach Galifianakis and the like, we just laugh. Many men are not funny, but they are a joke.

For every caddish TV protagonist like Barney from “How I Met Your Mother” there are at least three celebrated female characters living life by the same standards. How else would you describe the “Sex and the City” phenomenon?

If you want to rage against irresponsible addictive selfishness, Mr. Driscoll, be my guest. But don’t pin it all on one sex. And just remember that where the ladies go, the men follow. Not the other way around.

Men are like trucks: they drive straighter with a weighted load. Young men are supposed to load themselves up first by being responsible for themselves and not expecting their mom to fill up their sippy cup with beer and push them in a stroller to the unemployment line. Young men who take responsibility for themselves are then ready to marry and take responsibility for the life and joy of their wife. And, as they grow in that responsibility they are then ready to take on the additional responsibility of being a father, invested in and devoted to their child or children.

It’s fine to become a responsible adult, but it would take an ignoramus to look at the current state of marriage in this country and conclude that it would be a responsible decision to leap into a lifestyle in which everything is suddenly stacked against him.

I know plenty of good-hearted men who would be good husbands and fathers. And these guys aren’t as rare as guys like Driscoll would have you believe. Now, disregarding the fact that most of them are ultimately rejected by those girls they find most attractive, why should they gamble the life they’ve built on the shaky foundation that is modern marriage?

After appealing to the Bible to make his point about marriage being necessary, he finally adds in the standard slap-on-the-wrist chastening towards the ladies:

To be sure, there are some terrible women in the world. But, if you believe the statistics, men have been on the losing end of this cultural ‘evolution.’

Ladies, are you part of the problem? Are you the mom or girlfriend letting a boy who can shave live at your house eating your food and mooching off your hard work? Are you enabling some guy who is using you to live foolishly without having to suffer painfully?

Are you the girlfriend who has allowed one of these guys to be with you although there is no clarity regarding what your relationship is or direction for where it’s going?

Again, he’s treating it like it’s a problem caused by men while women are only responsible for allowing it to flourish or etiolate. Women hold the cards in the sexual market. And in the end, they’ll obtain what their animal natures crave. Men must either adapt (learn game), settle for less (further skewing the SMV of females in the direction of more bloated egos), or go into hiding (watching porn and letting their lives waste away as career celibates). Whatever road they choose, marriage isn’t going to do them any favors unless they luck out in the wife lottery.

And I would ask the men, do you want to leave a good time or a good legacy? Do you want to one day be the dirty old man alone in the strip club on Christmas, or the grandpa who loves his wife and has their children and grandchildren to their home to share in their joy? Do you have a plan to get there, or are you expecting the life fairy to take care of that for you? Would you want your sons to be like you? Would you want your daughters to marry someone like you?

Why must this argument always be framed as a false dilemma? One who avoids marriage does not necessarily have to become a “dirty old man alone in the strip club on Christmas.” He can find fulfillment in relationships that don’t involve the government and a ridiculously expensive rock on his girlfriend’s ring finger. And granted, as he approaches old age, he may not continue to have the experiences he once had, but those he did have will have been worth it. And probably much more memorable than cold, once-a-month sex with a nagging wife. Not to mention age is far from being the SMV killer to men like it is women.

On the other side of his fallacious scenario, marrying a woman and having children and grandchildren is no guarantee of happiness. That is, if a married man is even able to achieve such a legacy, what with the whimsy of his bride and the no-fault divorce laws that exist all over the place.

He concludes with a continuation of his exhausting rhetorical admonishments:

Are you a fool? Was your father a fool? When will the folly stop?

To answer your last question, when women decide that their careers aren’t the be-all-end-all of female happiness on this planet and stop rejecting good men for cocky badboys. Don’t hold your breath.

And to answer your first question last, no. Because I don’t plan on getting ass-raped married any time soon…


Girls Don’t Want A Gentleman

Rarely does a song come along these days that espouses such a high number of Roissyan concepts than “Gentleman” by Canadian-based band (Canadian? Yeah, Canadian) Theory of a Deadman. Sure, there are plenty of sex ditties out there written by rich womanizing rockers and rappers, but few hit on the themes of truth put forth at the Chateau and others who share his worldview.

Without further ado… I present to you “Gentleman,” sprinkled with hyperlinks to Roissy posts hitting on the same themes:

I’ll let the door hit you right in the face
And when the check comes, I’ll make you pay
Don’t have a car, I guess you’re picking me up
And in the back seat we’ll be falling in love
My only job is to lie on this couch
And while you’re workin’ I’ll be hangin’ out
Now don’t get mad cause you knew from the start
I was an asshole who would never go far

Cause when you’re really good to girls,
Give them your entire world,
They end up walking away.

(Hey, Hey)
They don’t want a standard guy, rather have you cheat and lie,
And do something they hate

Girls don’t want a gentleman
They say they do but in the end
Girls don’t want a gentleman
They want a loser like me
Girls don’t want a gentleman
If you want to get to them
Girls don’t want a gentleman
They want a loser like me

Your parents cry when you bring me around
They raised you up just so I can take you down
There goes your life right before their eyes
I’ll have you bare foot pregnant, going outta your mind

Cause when you’re really good to girls
Give them your entire world
They end up walking away
(Hey, Hey)
They don’t want a standard guy, rather have you cheat and lie
And do something they hate

Girls don’t want a gentleman
They say they do but in the end
Girls don’t want a gentleman
They want a loser like me
Girls don’t want a gentleman
If you want to get to them
Girls don’t want a gentleman
They want a loser like me

I used to be a nice guy
But that don’t get you anywhere
So now I’m just a piece of shit, idiot
Who’s too stupid to care

When you give a girl respect
Treat her like she is the best
You’re nothing to her

She’d rather have you playing games
Piss her off and make her wait
If you want it to work

Girls don’t want a gentleman
They say they do but in the end
Girls don’t want a gentleman
They want a loser like me
Girls don’t want a gentleman
If you want to get to them
Girls don’t want a gentleman
They want a loser like me