10 Beliefs That Must Be Shed To Be Successful At Game

1. Women are more moral and upstanding than men.

Once it is realized that women are attracted to the exact opposite of what we would expect good little angels to be attracted to, we can mentally begin the Damsel Depedestalization process. Logically speaking, having a multitude of flings and girlfriends, admitting to a dark past, or displaying a consistent narcissism shouldn’t be attractive. Yet, the majority of women get tingles in the naughty place for men who fit that description. This is the beta’s fundamental philosophical shortcoming– he does not understand that the female attraction process is not based on logic. It is based in the world of emotion. One vertiginous, drama-plagued (not to mention orgasm-inducing) relationship with an alpha male will excite the typical girl a hundred times more than all of their prosaic, forgettable experiences with fulsome betas combined. At the end of the day, this perverse enchantment with the dark side of humanity is what stands in the way of them from being the selfless and dutifully moral creatures we as ignorant boys believed they were.

2. The ideals of feminism are compatible with the reality of human nature.

There is no doubt remaining that girls are attracted to men of a higher status than themselves. It was just as true in 1951 as it is in 2011. Human nature doesn’t change overnight, not even with the specious groupthink myth of feminism being shoved down our throats for the past half-century. I’m not going to say that female equality didn’t lead to some good things (personally I find the 50s housewife persona a bit boring), but it came at a price. Women saw their statuses rise, which meant, relative to them, men’s statuses dropped. The percentage of satisfactory male suitors has dropped remarkably, meaning more cads and ne’er-do-wells succeeding, and more niceguy providers getting cuckolded, paying lifetime alimony, and getting put into friend zone after friend zone. Since the sexual market is a zero sum game (as the sagacious Roissy pointed out), the continuing progression of females up the status ladder can only mean the continuing regression of males down it. The equality of the dating market has never been more skewed.

3. There is only one girl in the world who is right for you.

Oneitis is a debilitating disease that prevents men from reaching their full potential. A man who has options is a man who can attain the gratifying entelechy mastered game has to offer him. Once a man allows himself to look at other girls again, he will see there is beauty all around him, that there are things other girls can offer him that the girl he’s drooling over never could. But he must believe that he has the charisma to find someone new, because oneitis is, in a way, just another form of self-doubt. If he exorcises this demon, he will eventually embrace the love of variety that is instilled in every man. While he shouldn’t suddenly become opposed to LTRs as long as they’re still fulfilling (a big if, especially beyond the 2-year point), he should never feel compelled to be in a relationship he doesn’t want to be in. Never take the option of walking out off the table. Ever.

4. Game is, above all, about what you say.

Sometimes teachers within the PUA community are too concerned with teaching men what to say, and don’t focus enough time on teaching them how to say it. While I have no qualms with canned openers and DHV gambits, they are ineffective without the concomitant confidence to deliver them. Alpha body language, appropriate vocal tonality and tempo, and proper eye contact will be as helpful to an aspiring PUA as a catchy (but ultimately unimportant) opener. There is no need to split the community into the two camps of inner and outer game. Both are essential for activating the attraction mechanism in a girl’s brain.

5. It is the man’s job to impress/entertain the woman.

When asked what the one truth of game was, Roissy epigrammatically answered, “Impress me.” Although men certainly have to put effort into a pickup, game is completely structured on the underlying principle that it is the option-rich man, who, through qualifying, disqualifying, and negging, is in control of choosing his mate in the sexual market, not the other way around. It is the alpha male who believes he is the prize to be won, not Princess Pedestalia and her inscrutable whimsy (hopefully leading her to select him!). It is indeed true that a man determines within seconds if a girl is someone he would like to screw; however he must approach her from a strong screening frame. He must give the impression that he’d gladly walk and move on to the next contestant if she doesn’t meet his standards. This attitude is attractive to girls.

6. Girls don’t want to be offended.

The most common mistake betas make is that they place the fear of girls’ reactions above their own desires. Because girls desire a man of higher status, they view the unctuous onslaught of constant accommodation as a sign of weakness. Why? When a guy placates a girl by never challenging her, her finely-tuned social sense tells her that he has no other options. And no options = low status. She is the one thing standing between him and celibacy. That is why he must flip the script and show that isn’t the case– by being a challenge, being unpredictable, being an offender even. Of course, the best way to “offend” girls is to do it with subtlety. That’s why a neg (defined in its original context) works so well. It knocks her down a few notches without being brazen or reaction-seeking (both of which defeat the very purpose of negging her and will cause her to think she’s your only option).

7. A girl will respect you for not making a move on her. There will always be another chance to do so.

As the more capricious gender, females can never be counted on for “next time,” especially when it comes to love. Not only will they lose respect for you for the “respect” (a faux veneration that is in fact repulsive to most girls’ ids) you show them by not overtly sexualizing them, they will make it seem like you did the right thing– with a reward into the anhedonic friend zone. Don’t take the bait. Whether you’re going for a same-night screw or waiting three dates, make sure you escalate. The common game techniques of DHVing, disqualification, and preselection are all key to building attraction, but escalation is the key to maintaining attraction. Always be moving toward your ultimate goal– sex, love, fulfillment… something– but do it in a way that doesn’t show desperation (i.e., pulling away from her first after kissing). This is a sign of a man who knows what he’s doing, and nothing turns a girl on more than that.

8. Following the logical route and giving into your girl’s every demand will strengthen your relationship.

This is also all about status. A strong relationship is not one in which there is a perfect harmony between the two partners (and if someone says there is, ask them when the last time they had sex was), it’s when the man asserts a stoic dominance over his girlfriend/wife. Many PUAs make the mistake of believing that displaying such dominance is only useful in the pickup and early stages of a relationship, and is useless or even deleterious in a LTR. Not so. Girls don’t fall for a cocky badboy the first night and suddenly get wet for a doting dishwasher six months in. If you maintain the same frame throughout the entire courtship, you will always have hand in the relationship (assuming you did it right in the first place). The second you crumble, it’s game over. Be strong and your girl (if she’s not a slut) will be loyal, even if feigning dissatisfaction with you.

9. You can reason your way into being loved by her again.

“Attraction is not a choice,” wrote David DeAngelo. This is something I’ve learned the hard way. Once the attraction (or love) is gone, little can be done to salvage it. The only hope is a freeze-out (she needs to be out of your life for a considerable amount of time) and the eventual reintroduction of you as a new man (preferably with a new lady on each arm). Needy love letters and law school arguments presenting the case of why you should be together will only seal your betafate. Just as a girl who recently gave you her number will make time to attend a first date with you if your game was tight enough (and not because you persistently called and texted her until she cracked), a girl who is still attracted to you will be with you on her own accord. If she’s not feeling it anymore, don’t go batshit crazy asking yourself what she’s thinking. Ask yourself what you did wrong. And refine your game for your next girl.

10. There is a God who will eternally damn you for your caddish actions.

I’m not one to bash on religion or those who believe in God. The question of whether God exists is one that has haunted my brain since I was very young. I’ve gone back and forth on this question my entire life. Church is far from an unfamiliar place. But I maintain that, whatever your beliefs on the subject, there is no God who will send you to an eternity of damnation for going after what you want. Following a dogmatic view of an angry, unknown God produces nothing more than tension, confusion, and discordance in one’s life. The guilt that comes with the “sin” of embracing what every human feels so naturally is a poisonous thing, one that leads to heart-wrenching regrets of what could have been. Don’t let guilt consume you. It doesn’t have your best interest at heart. Only you do.