Text Game: Horny Religious Girl

A Mormon girl I fooled around with a couple years ago texted me out of the blue this weekend. She goes to school out of state (surrounded, presumably, by a bunch of boring guys following all the boring rules), and it’s apparent she still looks to me to turn her on, even if it can’t be in person. Our conversation:

Horny Religious Girl: Guess what?

Crimson: You got kicked out of school?

I start out with a smart ass remark (at the same time insinuating bad behavior on her part- get the ball rolling early).

HRG: Haha you’re still as smug as ever. 😛 no dork i went to [restaurant I used to work at]

If a girl calls you “smug,” you know you’re doing it right.

C: No way! I used to work at [said restaurant]!

Don’t acknowledge her lame attempt to make small talk when it’s clear she has other things (*cough* sex *cough*) on her mind.

HRG: Really?? That’s soo weird 😛 i think I’ve gotten worse 😉

C: Gotten worse how?

Don’t bombard girls with questions. No more than one per conversation. If I could have passed this by without asking a question, I would have. And whatever you say, keep it concise. You’ve got more important things to do.

HRG: Haha wouldn’t you just love to know

C: Nah I already know. So its all good

I refuse to take the bait. She wouldn’t have brought it up if she didn’t want to spill the beans. Patience is a virtue, my friends.

HRG: Oh you do? Really?

C: Maybe…

HRG: Maybe not 😛

C: Well then we’ll have to compare notes. Ladies first…

I’ve kept from asking her directly what I’m talking about. At this point, I’m not saying anything else until she tells me.

HRG: Hahahaha nice try

HRG: So uh I finally got my first hickey or rather I should my first four 😉 😛

Note she sends two texts in a row. I call her bluff (by not texting back) and she folds. She also reveals her joyous news from the homefront (all carefully packaged in a Shit Test- will I be jealous?)

C: Awesome! You’re becoming a woman

When you have the choice between sniveling with jealousy and negging, neg every time.

HRG: Haha You’re such a jerk I could’ve gotten one before then but you were . . . 😛

C: . . . Busy exploring other areas?

HRG: You dirty rotten . . . 😛 precisely 😉 🙂

A classic reframe. She calls me out for not giving her a hickey during our little fling. Should I get defensive? Should I go the Peter Priesthood route and tell her she’s being inappropriate? Not if I don’t want to revert to the ways of the AFC. I simply remind her of her pussy-tingling past. And does she stop talking to me or get mad (the worry of every beta)? Nope. I give her exactly what she wants.

I didn’t respond back. Guys, learn to quit when you’re ahead. Sure, I could have asked her how life was at school, or delved into the nature of her relationship with Elder Hickey, but I refrained. And frankly, I didn’t care. She can spill her guts to her beta friends at BYU. She can come to me to feel like a woman.

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