June 20, 2014 3 Comments
A popular conservative blogger, Matt Walsh, has recently joined the male shaming parade of “man up” advocates with this piece Thursday.
Matt is actually a pretty apt dude who writes a lot of top-notch stuff. In fact, I’ve got him on my blogroll. His epic take down of female “logic” in defense of abortion is one of my favorite posts by anybody anywhere. However, this most recent advice, a letter to single men, if followed, will result in only more heartbreak and confusion in their lives. We don’t need more of that.
I’m not going to analyze the entire piece, but I will quote one part that I found most ridiculous. Following that is a comment I left on his site.
No matter what anyone does, or says, or thinks; no matter what we tell ourselves; no matter what society insists, romantic relationships are always serious business. Call it what you want — hanging out, talking, dating — there’s a woman’s heart involved in it. That means you have a responsibility, alright? You have a duty as a human being, as an adult, as a man.
She’s making herself vulnerable to you. You need to honor that, protect it. And if you aren’t looking for anything but cheap sex and another trophy of sexual conquest to hang on the wall in your studio apartment, then you need to protect her from yourself, because you’ll be bringing nothing but disappointment and chaos into her life.
While you correctly identified a few days ago that “rape culture” is a direct result of hook-up culture, you’re way off the mark here, Matt. (I’m usually a fan of your stuff, by the way.) What bothers me most is your appeal to “duty” and “responsibility.”
Duty to whom? THIS shit society? This culture of greed, deceit, and frivolity? This mass (obesity pun intended) of women who have left good men behind for the douchebag or the Ben & Jerry’s? The institution of marriage that has become laughably irrelevant yet soul crushing to those who experience the shitstorm of inane divorce settlements? The future children who will inherit even worse degeneracy and depravity? Tell me, Matt. Who is it that we men owe this commitment to?
Ultimately, men SHOULD take initiative in their lives. They should grow up, learn to take care of themselves, and stop being indecisive pussies. But growing up also means leaving the pretty little lies in the past–particularly, the lie that we men “owe” anything to anyone but ourselves. It isn’t until we embrace that reality that we become true men, and ironically enough, attract more women into our lives than the needy automatons who’ve swallowed the Disney blue pill and wish upon a star for the princess they’ll live happily ever after with.
Sadly, the “man up” phenomenon isn’t exclusively reserved to the feminist leftoid part of the population. It is a surprisingly present mindset in middle America as well, among Christians and conservatives who should know better. And then all the women coming out of the alphawoodwork to congratulate him on setting his fellow men straight. At least some of his readers know the score, though. I leave you with a few adroit musings left by others on his comment section.
Why is this article only about guys needing to “man up”? Quite frankly, I have never had an issue being willing or able to commit to a girl, or call it a “relationship”, or what we were doing as “dating”, it’s always been the women playing those silly games of “well it’s not really a date”, or being unable to commit, or unwilling to. Maybe this article needs to be directed at the young women these days who like to make dating ambiguous, so that us guys don’t know if we’re “dating”, “talking”, or “hanging out”… it’s not just guys who play this game.
The level of stereotyping and generalizing in this article is too damn high.
How much more weight do you plan to put on after you’re married and there’s no fear of losing him?
I think the current epidemic of obesity is having a terribly negative impact on marriage.
Let’s stop pretending that most young women WANT a committed relationship while they are “experiencing thier 20s.” Sure, they say they want a loving man in thier lives, but the Actions of American women speak louder than words.