My Openers A-Z

Everyone goes about opening in a different way. Will you approach direct or indirect? Will you be wordy or laconic? How many openers should you have in your back pocket?

Respectively, my answers to these questions would be (in general): indirect, laconic, and many. I also like opinion openers because they provide a lot of conversational hooks from which to direct the conversation beyond the initial pleasantries. Note that I am not criticizing any other style; this is simply what works for me.

The last answer is likely where I differ from many PUAs, who suggest a small rotation of openers. While I understand the reasoning for this, I personally like to have an array of them so I have more options when approaching a set. My personal system is also easy to memorize. I have one opener for every letter of the alphabet, so sometimes I’ll just pick a letter at random and roll with it. Sometimes I’ll have a friend choose three letters and I’ll decide on one of them. Or, since they’re so engrained in my mind, I’ll calibrate through a few of them and select the one that seems to fit the set, or more importantly, the mood I am in.

The openers I use are from a combination of sources– my own design (i.e., “About to Leave Town”), Roissy (i.e., “Ultimatum”), Logan Edwards (i.e., “Maury”), Mystery (i.e., “Poltergeist”), Neil Strauss (i.e., “I Love/In Love”), and possibly others. Remember the key to a good opener is not where it comes from, or even how “used” it is, it’s in your delivery. Can you get your foot in the door by delivering your opener in a genuine, straightforward manner? You need to sell your opener. If you don’t believe in your opener, you won’t believe in the rest of your game. And you will lose.

So without further ado, here is my A-Z of openers (with a little bit of fudging of the English language here and there):

ABOUT TO LEAVE TOWN: “My friend was in a serious relationship with this girl. She was totally in love with him. But he found out he was going to get a job in Pittsburgh and had to leave in two months. To his surprise, she broke up with him right away. Would you do the same or would you have fun for the two months?”

BORN AGAIN: “Do you girls believe in reincarnation?” (Follow-up: “What would you come back as?” “What would you not want to come back as?” “What do you think you’ll come back as?”)

CLOTHING STORE: “Do you girls know a good place around here that sells men’s clothing?”

DRUNK I <3 U’S: “Do drunk ‘I love you’s’ count?”

ENGAGED FRIEND: “Our friend isn’t out with us today because he’s out with his girlfriend…again. He’s head over heels for her and told us the other day he’s going to propose to her. But I can’t stand her and neither can any of our other friends. We seriously do not believe she can make him happy. Should we tell him he shouldn’t marry her or should we hold our tongues?”

FIGHTING GIRLS: “Did you see the girls fighting outside? The crazy thing is, it was over this 5 foot 5 guy named Herman. It looked like UFC out there.”

GF PHOTO: “My friend went out with this girl and they just went to the mountains for the weekend. Had a blast. The strange thing is, they took a ton of pictures, but when they got home, she deleted all the ones where they were kissing or otherwise looking like a ‘couple.’ All the platonic-looking pictures were still there. What do you think that means?”

HEAD SHAVE: “Do you think I should shave my head?” (Great for kino– 75% chance they will touch your head)

I LOVE/IN LOVE: “What’s the difference between loving someone and being in love with them?”

JEALOUS GIRLFRIEND: “My friend’s been dating this girl for about a year now. Anyway, the other day, she discovered a box under his bed that had a bunch of old memorabilia and pictures and shit, and some of the stuff was from his ex-girlfriends. When she saw it she got really pissed at him, threatening to break up with him, if he didn’t throw it all out. He says his past is part of who he is and he doesn’t want to get rid of it. What do you think he should do?”

KITTY KAT: “Are you dog person or a cat person?” (Follow-up: cold read– “That’s what I would have thought.”)

LOOKS OR PERSONALITY: “What’s more important to girls when looking for a guy, looks or personality?”

MAURY: “My friend over there recently got contacted by the Maury Povich Show. They want to fly him out to L.A., pay room and board for three days and three nights, everything, if he goes on the show. It’s an episode about secret admirers. But the catch is that they can’t tell him who his secret admirer is until they film it. Should he do it?”

NOT COMFORTABLE: (point to some schmuck out there AFCing all over the place) “What do you think that guy is doing wrong that’s making the girls around him so uncomfortable?” (Follow-up: “Defend” him by pointing out any behaviors women say they want but in real life reject)

OTHER GIRLS: “Why do girls check out other girls more than they do guys when they go to the club?”

POLTERGEIST*: “You know that movie Poltergeist? Where Carol Anne gets taken to the other side by ghosts and starts talking to her family through the television set? Do you think that’s possible?” (Follow-up: Whatever they say, challenge it; i.e., if yes, ask “Is it a common occurrence in your house to communicate with the dead via television?” If no, point out, “Well, they were right in the movie that a channel not receiving a broadcast is free to pick up signals from other places. Why not from people who have crossed over?”)

QUTE RIGHT EYE: “You know, I just had to let you know you have a beautiful right eye.”

READ EMAIL: “If you suspected your boyfriend of cheating, would you hack into his e-mail?”

SORRY MA’AM: “I’m sorry ma’am, but this [table/area/seat/whatever] is reserved.” (You’ve gotta act like you own the place though.)

TEXT BREAK-UP: “Is it ever okay to break up with someone through text message?”

ULTIMATUM: “Do you think it’s ever okay in a relationship to give your partner an ultimatum?”

VALK: “Did you know you can tell a lot about a person just from the way they walk?” (Demonstrate some different walks in an exaggerated way. Point out the walks of nearby people.)

WHICH ONE ARE YOU: (works best on a four-set) “Every group of girl friends has different characters in it. In groups of four, there’s always gonna be the smart one, the funny one, the sweet one, and the kinda slutty one… So which one are you?”

X‘ES STAY FRIENDS: “Can exes ever stay friends?”

YOU’RE IN MY SPOT: (similar to the “Sorry Ma’am” opener) “I’m sorry, but you’re in my spot.” (Possible follow-up: “I reserved this seat like two hours ago”– works great if you can deliver it in a wry way, especially in a place unlikely to be reserved.)

ZINCERE COMPLIMENT: “Are you someone who’s secure enough to accept a sincere compliment from someone you don’t know?” [Yes] “Great, me too. You first.”

*This post is dedicated to the great film “Poltergeist” on the 30-year anniversary of its theatrical release.

Five Roissy Quotes: Beta Edition

Welcome to the second edition of “Five Roissy Quotes.” As an homage to the inspiration of my blog, I present five thoughts from the Chateau on betas:

• “A beta male’s biggest shortcoming is his fear of offending his woman. Hey betas, newsflash: women WANT you to offend them. Not all the time, of course. But enough times that she is helpfully reminded of the alpha male she wants to believe you are. Sexual tension can be ramped up to incredible heights by edgy, borderline insulting banter.” (“Found! Useful Relationship Advice From A Woman,” 21 March 2011)
• “The next time you feel the urge to send a lovingly crafted email or text or IM to a woman who you haven’t yet banged, remember this true story from the vaults of the Chateau. Visualize the hosts reading your email out loud to the guffaws of a roomful of cute girls who soften their laughter with pitying, and faintly contemptuous, hedges about what a ‘niceguy’ and ‘sweet guy’ you are, and… STOP, CROP and CULL. Stay your hand. Turn off the spigot of beta diarrhea. Calm your fiery but unfocused passion. Shut your mouth. Delete that fucking ode. Because it WILL, one way or another, one day sooner or later, be used against you in a kangaroo court of amoral soul flaying. If you want to win at this game, there is only one road to victory– penis in vagina. No amount of painstakingly composed and heartfelt emails, yearning voicemails, or chivalric IMs emanating with the faint whiff of beggary will ever match in manly will to power the physical act of fucking. That is your trump card, and nothing a woman holds can beat it.” (“Soulkill,” 14 February 2011)
• “This canard that women can’t resist or leave abusive relationships is utter bullshit. Funny, women seem to have no trouble at all resisting the come-ons of non-assholes, or leaving relationships with beta boyfriends. Where will she go? To whom will she turn? What about the chance he might stalk her? Those questions never come up when the man she’s leaving is a man she doesn’t love.” (“Carolyn Hax, Man-Hating Algorithm,” 5 August 2010)
• “Beta is a state of mind that can be found anywhere. It is anhedonic. Game is the cure.” (“Feminists Still Not Getting It, Never Will,” 14 July 2010)
• “Sorry betas, your conversations don’t get overanalyzed by women. They get disappeared; sucked into a void of whitenoise. You know, kinda like how you don’t remember a single word a fat chick said to you.” (“Is College A Poon Nirvana?,” 11 February 2010)

Overcoming my natural betaness was a lengthy challenge, a battle I continue to fight. But the fight is worth it. No self-respecting man wants to be the piñata that is today’s modern American male. I’m glad I came to this understanding before it was too late.

The Uncrossable Chasm

“All you have to do to pick up chicks is to be confident, dude!”

“You don’t need to run game. Just be yourself, man.”

“If you have to go out scamming on girls to make yourself feel better, they’ll see right through it, bro.”

Odds are if a significant number of people in your life know about your aspirations to learn the Venusian Arts, you’ve heard, in one form or another, all of these retorts from eager advice-givers. Problem is, while these lines are likely fed to you with good intentions, they are all hollow platitudes, and ultimately do nothing but stunt your ability to attract women.

The reason most men get into pick-up is because their history with women is about as successful as the French Army’s history fighting wars. Obviously, these men have been doing something fundamentally wrong. And they look to the world of game to find answers.

The problem is not that these men have never heard the answers, it’s that they’ve never heard the right answers. The lines above are of the generic variety; they have no real-world application for men learning game. Naturals can get away with framing the sexual market in such simplified ways; they’ve always had confidence and never had an issue getting beautiful girls to be attractive to him. And no matter how vapid the lines may sound, they may actually help some naturals and masters keep focused on their goals.

However, recovering AFCs need a completely different brand of advice. They need more than just “confidence.” They need more than just themselves. They need systematic OUTER game intervention, the only bridge to the uncrossable chasm.

The chasm of which I speak, a chasm in which confidence is expected to appear out of the ether, is this:

MAN WITH LITTLE TO NO PAST SUCCESS WITH WOMEN  >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> CONFIDENT MAN HAVING SUCCESS WITH WOMEN

Because inner game rests so much on possessing legitimate, unshakeable, devil-may-care confidence, there is simply no way a man who has never been able to score women will magically cross the chasm without learning more. No amount of feelgood blather to the contrary will change the fact that having the requisite inner game, or confidence, to bed attractive women consistently is based on PAST SUCCESS.

If a man has none of that, he cannot “be himself” and suddenly find success because being himself never worked in the first place. He cannot suddenly acquire confidence from the mirthful mists because he has no experience from which to derive it. Inner game is impossible to attain without positive experiences to fall back on.

So what is such a man to do? Is he out of options? Not if we listen to Roissy, who said, “People who claim that game is trickery designed to fool women into thinking the man is alpha, are wrong. Game will actually alter your perception of yourself and create a positive power feedback loop. Game even alters hormone levels.”

Fortunately, game tactics will provide a man the framework to perfect his outer game first. A man learning correct game may not get laid or even get phone numbers right away, but if he’s doing his homework, and self-aware and self-correcting in his approaches, he will be able to, in effect, fake it til he makes it. DHV routines. Attractive anecdotes. Alpha body language. All these things will assist in creating a man who can, with enough approaches, begin to have the sexual experiences with women that will eventually help him develop his inner game, and thus, foster well-rounded game (of both the inner and outer variety). That is what leads to mastery.

But one does not need to become a master to get laid. One needs to get laid to become a master.

Tired Of Her Shit

Fear And Control

The strange thing about fear is that by giving into it, we are manufacturing a world in which the insignificant apprehensions we choose not to confront at the time are gradually manifested in completeness later on. In other words, by not going after something we want but are afraid of, we are helping create the life we feared from the start.

Let me provide an example, a common one: the fear of approaching women. If I puss out in my quest to talk to an attractive girl I see somewhere, I am decreasing the odds of achieving the happiness and companionship I truly desire. Fear’s funny that way; it makes us think we’re taking the easy way out (hey, I didn’t have to approach a stranger and display my value to her, did I?) but in reality, a lifetime of such indecisive accumulation will manifest itself into what we fear most, from a social perspective at least– being alone.

That’s what it comes down to. Do you have a fear of approaching girls? Of course you do. As Mystery is known to point out, even the most successful PUAs still fear the approach. It’s hard-wired into all men. But odds are you also fear, in a greater degree, turning into an old man who let his life pass him by. Becoming a man who’s lived a life of involuntary celibacy. Dying a man who has never been loved.

As uncomfortable as approaches can be, they are necessary for any man not blinded by his own sorry subjectivity, a paradigm of limitation which is almost always based in some permutation of the “it’s beyond my control” philosophy.

I had a decision to make a couple years back when I learned of game and the lifestyle it espoused– I could either come to grips with the fact that my problems with women could be fixed, or I could reject it and wallow in the path of fear, self-pity, and dulcet lies. Once I realized the only thing I was victim to was my own ignorance and inexperience, I could take the crucial step in building the life that I want, not the one that I fear.

Fear can only be confronted when we decide to take control. The worst thing about the feminist-entitlement-socialist-big-government world we live in isn’t the loss of freedom per se. It is the loss of personal accountability and responsibility. The loss of freedom is an effect of this mindset, not the cause. And lives constructed in fear abound.

This Video Tells The Truth…And Makes Me Laugh

Don’t have a grandson with a dog collar.

Why Men Need Not Listen To Pedestalizing Blowhards

Even though left-wing ideology (and the feminist ilk that regurgitates it) is the root cause of the sad state of the modern American sexual market, it doesn’t mean religious conservatives don’t have blood on their hands either. As evidenced by this vacuous piece by The Washington Post‘s resident pastor Mark Driscoll, a great deal of damage can be done by taking this worldview seriously as well.

For starters, I believe people like Driscoll have their heart in the right place, and science to back up their case– their underlying point, at least– that marriage is good for society. Indeed it is. Children raised in strong, two-parent households are less likely to fall into lives of crime and other assorted ne’er-do-well behavior. The stronger our families, the stronger our society. It’s a simple point many liberals refuse to concede.

Beyond that, however, people sharing Driscoll’s mindset are severely misguided. In the article, the pastor employs the “man-up” method of guilt-tripping guys into taking the plunge into marriage. Add that to the fact that he never specifies why exactly men need marriage, and you have something in serious need of the Colonel’s critical scrutiny.

His intro is laughable to anyone who’s ever taken a step back and put two and two together:

She was smart, funny, interesting, successful, attractive, kind, in her 40s, and still single.

After my wife Grace and I spent some time with the woman from our church, we could not fathom why no one had married her.

I’ll take Marky for his word and believe this 40-something was attractive. Regardless of whether or not it is true, her looks are nowhere near what they were at 25 and she is on the brink of sexual irrelevancy.

There is one subtle clue pointing to the reality of this poor woman’s situation, though– she is described as “successful.” More than likely, she followed the script so many females of her generation before her did– working her way up the corporate stepladder focusing on her “career” while in her 20s, meanwhile falling for and getting plowed by alphas, proceeding to get her heart broken by those alphas, ruining her forever to provider betas, continuing her ultimately pointless pursuits along the stepladder, seeing the alpha love slowly wane, causing her to develop a personality (becoming “smart, funny, interesting”), turning 40, and then suddenly realizing aloud, “Hey, wait a second! I’m not married! What gives?!”

Driscoll then solidifies my point by pointing out the statistics, which include the fact that more women are currently attending college and working a career track job than men. But instead of coming to the realization that it is women choosing these things over men, he predictably follows the pattern of all the other pedestal crafters like him. He absolves them of all blame.

What are the guys doing? Often, they’re acting like boys who can shave, getting drunk, watching porn, attending sporting events, and treating responsibility like Superman does green kryptonite.

Attending sporting events? Oh the humanity!

He continues:

So, many women are waiting longer to marry. Eventually, some get tired of the fools parade and settle for some guy who is more likely to act like a baby than help raise a baby. These guys make the worst husbands: gambling away the money, out late with the boys a lot, unfaithful, can’t seem to fit a full-time job in around his hobbies, and eventually trading in their 40-year-old wife for two 20-year-old girlfriends.

Basically, his argument is that the beta provider is a woman’s first choice, but because they’re too busy avoiding responsibility and getting drunk at baseball games, they “settle for” the cheating, aloof, immature badboy alpha.

Sorry, Mark. You’ve got it turned around. Those “babies” are choice numero uno in the ids of attractive women the world across, all to the detriment of the hard-working, responsible, ready-to-be-a-papa-for-scarce-pussy betas. And the effect of this rejection? You got it! Shunning responsibility and watching porn!

Even though he correctly points out the dynamics of the situation, his analysis of it is all fucked up. He’s not understanding what is the cause and what is the effect.

Seeing this dismal fate and unwilling to settle [read: marry a niceguy] or suffer [read: dump an alpha even though they're still hopelessly in love with him], other young women just give up hope and decide it’s better to be single than sorry.

And ultimately, it is that decision that is the cause of the whole problem of men resorting to becoming boring directionless betas or arrogant asshole alphas. It’s not an effect.

Rather than some public outrage against irresponsible addictive selfish boys who can shave, what do we have? Comedies. From inane television shows like “The Big Bang Theory” to “How I Met Your Mother” to bromance movies and pull-my-finger comedies from Seth Rogen, Andy Samberg, Zach Galifianakis and the like, we just laugh. Many men are not funny, but they are a joke.

For every caddish TV protagonist like Barney from “How I Met Your Mother” there are at least three celebrated female characters living life by the same standards. How else would you describe the “Sex and the City” phenomenon?

If you want to rage against irresponsible addictive selfishness, Mr. Driscoll, be my guest. But don’t pin it all on one sex. And just remember that where the ladies go, the men follow. Not the other way around.

Men are like trucks: they drive straighter with a weighted load. Young men are supposed to load themselves up first by being responsible for themselves and not expecting their mom to fill up their sippy cup with beer and push them in a stroller to the unemployment line. Young men who take responsibility for themselves are then ready to marry and take responsibility for the life and joy of their wife. And, as they grow in that responsibility they are then ready to take on the additional responsibility of being a father, invested in and devoted to their child or children.

It’s fine to become a responsible adult, but it would take an ignoramus to look at the current state of marriage in this country and conclude that it would be a responsible decision to leap into a lifestyle in which everything is suddenly stacked against him.

I know plenty of good-hearted men who would be good husbands and fathers. And these guys aren’t as rare as guys like Driscoll would have you believe. Now, disregarding the fact that most of them are ultimately rejected by those girls they find most attractive, why should they gamble the life they’ve built on the shaky foundation that is modern marriage?

After appealing to the Bible to make his point about marriage being necessary, he finally adds in the standard slap-on-the-wrist chastening towards the ladies:

To be sure, there are some terrible women in the world. But, if you believe the statistics, men have been on the losing end of this cultural ‘evolution.’

Ladies, are you part of the problem? Are you the mom or girlfriend letting a boy who can shave live at your house eating your food and mooching off your hard work? Are you enabling some guy who is using you to live foolishly without having to suffer painfully?

Are you the girlfriend who has allowed one of these guys to be with you although there is no clarity regarding what your relationship is or direction for where it’s going?

Again, he’s treating it like it’s a problem caused by men while women are only responsible for allowing it to flourish or etiolate. Women hold the cards in the sexual market. And in the end, they’ll obtain what their animal natures crave. Men must either adapt (learn game), settle for less (further skewing the SMV of females in the direction of more bloated egos), or go into hiding (watching porn and letting their lives waste away as career celibates). Whatever road they choose, marriage isn’t going to do them any favors unless they luck out in the wife lottery.

And I would ask the men, do you want to leave a good time or a good legacy? Do you want to one day be the dirty old man alone in the strip club on Christmas, or the grandpa who loves his wife and has their children and grandchildren to their home to share in their joy? Do you have a plan to get there, or are you expecting the life fairy to take care of that for you? Would you want your sons to be like you? Would you want your daughters to marry someone like you?

Why must this argument always be framed as a false dilemma? One who avoids marriage does not necessarily have to become a “dirty old man alone in the strip club on Christmas.” He can find fulfillment in relationships that don’t involve the government and a ridiculously expensive rock on his girlfriend’s ring finger. And granted, as he approaches old age, he may not continue to have the experiences he once had, but those he did have will have been worth it. And probably much more memorable than cold, once-a-month sex with a nagging wife. Not to mention age is far from being the SMV killer to men like it is women.

On the other side of his fallacious scenario, marrying a woman and having children and grandchildren is no guarantee of happiness. That is, if a married man is even able to achieve such a legacy, what with the whimsy of his bride and the no-fault divorce laws that exist all over the place.

He concludes with a continuation of his exhausting rhetorical admonishments:

Are you a fool? Was your father a fool? When will the folly stop?

To answer your last question, when women decide that their careers aren’t the be-all-end-all of female happiness on this planet and stop rejecting good men for cocky badboys. Don’t hold your breath.

And to answer your first question last, no. Because I don’t plan on getting ass-raped married any time soon…

Girls Don’t Want A Gentleman

Rarely does a song come along these days that espouses such a high number of Roissyan concepts than “Gentleman” by Canadian-based band (Canadian? Yeah, Canadian) Theory of a Deadman. Sure, there are plenty of sex ditties out there written by rich womanizing rockers and rappers, but few hit on the themes of truth put forth at the Chateau and others who share his worldview.

Without further ado… I present to you “Gentleman,” sprinkled with hyperlinks to Roissy posts hitting on the same themes:

I let the door hit you right in the face
Don’t have a car, guess you’re picking me up
And in the back seat we’ll be falling in love
My only job is to lie on this couch
And while you’re workin’ I’ll be hangin’ out
Now don’t get mad cause you knew from the start
I was an asshole who would never go far

Cause when you’re really good to girls,
Give them your entire world,
They end up walking away.
(Hey, Hey)
They don’t want a standard guy, rather have you cheat and lie,
And do something they hate

Girls don’t want a gentleman
They say they do but in the end
Girls don’t want a gentleman
They want a loser like me
Girls don’t want a gentleman
If you want to get to them
Girls don’t want a gentleman
They want a loser like me

Your parents cry when you bring me around
They raised you up just so I can take you down
There goes your life right before their eyes
I’ll have you bare foot pregnant, going outta your mind

Cause when you’re really good to girls
Give them your entire world
They end up walking away
(Hey, Hey)
They don’t want a standard guy, rather have you cheat and lie
And do something they hate

Girls don’t want a gentleman
They say they do but in the end
Girls don’t want a gentleman
They want a loser like me
Girls don’t want a gentleman
If you want to get to them
Girls don’t want a gentleman
They want a loser like me

I used to be a nice guy
But that don’t get you anywhere
So now I’m just a piece of shit, idiot
Who’s too stupid to care

When you give a girl respect
Treat her like she is the best
You’re nothing to her
She’d rather have you playing games
Piss her off and make her wait
If you want it to work

Girls don’t want a gentleman
They say they do but in the end
Girls don’t want a gentleman
They want a loser like me
Girls don’t want a gentleman
If you want to get to them
Girls don’t want a gentleman
They want a loser like me

Robbie Williams Runs A Clinic

I present to you British pop singer Robbie Williams… game master:

 

Robbie, by virtue of rock star status alone, could be considered a super alpha male. But add to that the fact that he has extraordinary game skills, and you’ve got a great exemplar to whom any aspiring alpha male should look.

A few characteristics he exhibits (among many):

-Teasing: He doesn’t take her seriously (and based off her lame interview, why should he?). He calls her out her sloppiness. Women love that.

-Genuine humor: “My knee’s still broke, my tendon’s still snapped…” I’m laughing out loud here.

-Escalation: He builds up and takes away the sexual tension as he so desires. She loves it. Notice he doesn’t begin with extremely high levels (and thus make her uncomfortable); he waits until he know he’s hooked her. His calibration is spot-on.

-Frame: He’s basically running the interview. “Come on, one more question…”

To sum up succinctly: Williams is entertaining as hell to watch in-field and the lass interviewing him has never been more turned on in her life.

10 Beliefs That Must Be Shed To Be Successful At Game

1. Women are more moral and upstanding than men.

Once it is realized that women are attracted to the exact opposite of what we would expect good little angels to be attracted to, we can mentally begin the Damsel Depedestalization process. Logically speaking, having a multitude of flings and girlfriends, admitting to a dark past, or displaying a consistent narcissism shouldn’t be attractive. Yet, the majority of women get tingles in the naughty place for men who fit that description. This is the beta’s fundamental philosophical shortcoming– he does not understand that the female attraction process is not based on logic. It is based in the world of emotion. One vertiginous, drama-plagued (not to mention orgasm-inducing) relationship with an alpha male will excite the typical girl a hundred times more than all of their prosaic, forgettable experiences with fulsome betas combined. At the end of the day, this perverse enchantment with the dark side of humanity is what stands in the way of them from being the selfless and dutifully moral creatures we as ignorant boys believed they were.

2. The ideals of feminism are compatible with the reality of human nature.

There is no doubt remaining that girls are attracted to men of a higher status than themselves. It was just as true in 1951 as it is in 2011. Human nature doesn’t change overnight, not even with the specious groupthink myth of feminism being shoved down our throats for the past half-century. I’m not going to say that female equality didn’t lead to some good things (personally I find the 50s housewife persona a bit boring), but it came at a price. Women saw their statuses rise, which meant, relative to them, men’s statuses dropped. The percentage of satisfactory male suitors has dropped remarkably, meaning more cads and ne’er-do-wells succeeding, and more niceguy providers getting cuckolded, paying lifetime alimony, and getting put into friend zone after friend zone. Since the sexual market is a zero sum game (as the sagacious Roissy pointed out), the continuing progression of females up the status ladder can only mean the continuing regression of males down it. The equality of the dating market has never been more skewed.

3. There is only one girl in the world who is right for you.

Oneitis is a debilitating disease that prevents men from reaching their full potential. A man who has options is a man who can attain the gratifying entelechy mastered game has to offer him. Once a man allows himself to look at other girls again, he will see there is beauty all around him, that there are things other girls can offer him that the girl he’s drooling over never could. But he must believe that he has the charisma to find someone new, because oneitis is, in a way, just another form of self-doubt. If he exorcises this demon, he will eventually embrace the love of variety that is instilled in every man. While he shouldn’t suddenly become opposed to LTRs as long as they’re still fulfilling (a big if, especially beyond the 2-year point), he should never feel compelled to be in a relationship he doesn’t want to be in. Never take the option of walking out off the table. Ever.

4. Game is, above all, about what you say.

Sometimes teachers within the PUA community are too concerned with teaching men what to say, and don’t focus enough time on teaching them how to say it. While I have no qualms with canned openers and DHV gambits, they are ineffective without the concomitant confidence to deliver them. Alpha body language, appropriate vocal tonality and tempo, and proper eye contact will be as helpful to an aspiring PUA as a catchy (but ultimately unimportant) opener. There is no need to split the community into the two camps of inner and outer game. Both are essential for activating the attraction mechanism in a girl’s brain.

5. It is the man’s job to impress/entertain the woman.

When asked what the one truth of game was, Roissy epigrammatically answered, “Impress me.” Although men certainly have to put effort into a pickup, game is completely structured on the underlying principle that it is the option-rich man, who, through qualifying, disqualifying, and negging, is in control of choosing his mate in the sexual market, not the other way around. It is the alpha male who believes he is the prize to be won, not Princess Pedestalia and her inscrutable whimsy (hopefully leading her to select him!). It is indeed true that a man determines within seconds if a girl is someone he would like to screw; however he must approach her from a strong screening frame. He must give the impression that he’d gladly walk and move on to the next contestant if she doesn’t meet his standards. This attitude is attractive to girls.

6. Girls don’t want to be offended.

The most common mistake betas make is that they place the fear of girls’ reactions above their own desires. Because girls desire a man of higher status, they view the unctuous onslaught of constant accommodation as a sign of weakness. Why? When a guy placates a girl by never challenging her, her finely-tuned social sense tells her that he has no other options. And no options = low status. She is the one thing standing between him and celibacy. That is why he must flip the script and show that isn’t the case– by being a challenge, being unpredictable, being an offender even. Of course, the best way to “offend” girls is to do it with subtlety. That’s why a neg (defined in its original context) works so well. It knocks her down a few notches without being brazen or reaction-seeking (both of which defeat the very purpose of negging her and will cause her to think she’s your only option).

7. A girl will respect you for not making a move on her. There will always be another chance to do so.

As the more capricious gender, females can never be counted on for “next time,” especially when it comes to love. Not only will they lose respect for you for the “respect” (a faux veneration that is in fact repulsive to most girls’ ids) you show them by not overtly sexualizing them, they will make it seem like you did the right thing– with a reward into the anhedonic friend zone. Don’t take the bait. Whether you’re going for a same-night screw or waiting three dates, make sure you escalate. The common game techniques of DHVing, disqualification, and preselection are all key to building attraction, but escalation is the key to maintaining attraction. Always be moving toward your ultimate goal– sex, love, fulfillment… something– but do it in a way that doesn’t show desperation (i.e., pulling away from her first after kissing). This is a sign of a man who knows what he’s doing, and nothing turns a girl on more than that.

8. Following the logical route and giving into your girl’s every demand will strengthen your relationship.

This is also all about status. A strong relationship is not one in which there is a perfect harmony between the two partners (and if someone says there is, ask them when the last time they had sex was), it’s when the man asserts a stoic dominance over his girlfriend/wife. Many PUAs make the mistake of believing that displaying such dominance is only useful in the pickup and early stages of a relationship, and is useless or even deleterious in a LTR. Not so. Girls don’t fall for a cocky badboy the first night and suddenly get wet for a doting dishwasher six months in. If you maintain the same frame throughout the entire courtship, you will always have hand in the relationship (assuming you did it right in the first place). The second you crumble, it’s game over. Be strong and your girl (if she’s not a slut) will be loyal, even if feigning dissatisfaction with you.

9. You can reason your way into being loved by her again.

“Attraction is not a choice,” wrote David DeAngelo. This is something I’ve learned the hard way. Once the attraction (or love) is gone, little can be done to salvage it. The only hope is a freeze-out (she needs to be out of your life for a considerable amount of time) and the eventual reintroduction of you as a new man (preferably with a new lady on each arm). Needy love letters and law school arguments presenting the case of why you should be together will only seal your betafate. Just as a girl who recently gave you her number will make time to attend a first date with you if your game was tight enough (and not because you persistently called and texted her until she cracked), a girl who is still attracted to you will be with you on her own accord. If she’s not feeling it anymore, don’t go batshit crazy asking yourself what she’s thinking. Ask yourself what you did wrong. And refine your game for your next girl.

10. There is a God who will eternally damn you for your caddish actions.

I’m not one to bash on religion or those who believe in God. The question of whether God exists is one that has haunted my brain since I was very young. I’ve gone back and forth on this question my entire life. Church is far from an unfamiliar place. But I maintain that, whatever your beliefs on the subject, there is no God who will send you to an eternity of damnation for going after what you want. Following a dogmatic view of an angry, unknown God produces nothing more than tension, confusion, and discordance in one’s life. The guilt that comes with the “sin” of embracing what every human feels so naturally is a poisonous thing, one that leads to heart-wrenching regrets of what could have been. Don’t let guilt consume you. It doesn’t have your best interest at heart. Only you do.